What if something you said in passing stuck with a young person for years? Many of us in youth work enter the field because we care deeply about young people’s growth, yet even well-intentioned comments can unintentionally harm them.

These seemingly “small” moments are called microaggressions although they’re anything but small. They shape how young people see themselves, how safe they feel, and how much they trust you.

Understanding what microaggressions are and how to address them is a vital part of building inclusive, affirming spaces. And the good news? Once you know how to spot them, you can replace them with communication that uplifts rather than undermines.

What microaggressions are and why they matter

Microaggressions are subtle, often unintentional comments or behaviors that communicate bias or stereotypes toward a marginalized group. They’re not usually meant to hurt, but they do.

Here are some common examples you might recognize:

• “You’re so articulate!” (Implying surprise that a young person from a certain background speaks well.)
• “Where are you really from?” (Suggesting and assuming someone doesn’t belong.)
• “You’re so brave to wear that outfit.” (Giving a backhanded compliment.)
• “That’s so gay.” (Using identity as an insult.)

Microaggressions can also take the form of exclusion, like consistently mispronouncing a name or not correctly using someone’s pronouns.

Individually, these moments might seem minor. But over time, they can cause real harm by:

• Undermining a young person’s confidence and self-worth
• Creating feelings of exclusion or otherness
• Contributing to stress, anxiety, and disengagement
• Breaking down trust between youth and adults

As a youth worker, your words carry weight. Recognizing this isn’t about being “perfect” or walking on eggshells, it’s about being intentional and aware.

How to respond when you mess up

We all make mistakes. What matters most is how we respond.

The best approach is to take responsibility and center the young person’s experience, not your own. Here’s how:

• Pause before reacting: If someone points out a microaggression, resist the urge to defend your intent.
• Acknowledge the harm: A simple, “I’m sorry, I see how that could be hurtful,” goes a long way.
• Commit to learning: Reflect on why the comment was harmful and how you’ll do better next time.

Owning mistakes shows young people that you value them and are committed to creating a space where they feel safe and respected.

How to create affirming spaces

Preventing microaggressions isn’t just about avoiding harmful language. It’s also about actively building environments where all young people feel like they belong.

You can do this by:

• Learning about cultures, identities, and experiences different from your own
• Asking for and using chosen names and pronouns
• Listening without judgment and believing young people’s experiences
• Speaking up when you witness microaggressions from others and modeling inclusion

This work is ongoing. Every interaction is a chance to affirm a young person’s worth. It’s a continuous practice of learning, unlearning, and showing up for the young people you serve.

Microaggressions may feel small, but their impact is anything but. Your language and actions have the power to either reinforce harm or open the door to healing.

Reducing microaggressions isn’t just about avoiding harm, it’s about building relationships of trust where youth can thrive. By becoming more aware and responding with humility, you help create the kind of spaces where young people feel valued and free to be themselves.

Take your learning further

Microaggressions have a deep impact on all young people, but they can be especially harmful for those navigating identity, safety, and belonging in marginalized communities.

If you’re ready to dive deeper, our new online training for youth workers explores microaggressions specifically in the context of supporting transgender youth. Understanding Transphobic Microaggressions and How to Avoid Them offers real-world strategies and simple tools you can start using right away to create affirming, inclusive spaces for every young person.

Microaggressions may be subtle, but your response can be powerful. Start with awareness, lead with empathy, and commit to growth. Because all youth deserve to feel fully seen and respected.