August 1, 2022 Season 3 Episode 5

Minnesota, United States: Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie had to hit rock bottom to discover the kind of perseverance needed to achieve the life she wanted for herself. Drawing on her Indigenous values to see we need a community of people that care about us for us to be fully whole and healthy. Now she brings those values of connection, authenticity, and care to her work with young people. And teaches others to do the same.

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Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think really honestly, my favorite thing is that I learn so much from them. I believe, again, that we're all lifelong learners or that we all should be. And I think that youth have a lot more answers than we give them credit for. So, in working with youth, I'm just always finding out so many different new things about the world around us, about youth culture, about, ideally, the future. And I think that that's fantastic. Again, learning from them. But then I also think, particularly with this current generation, it's so cool to interact with them because they know more I think, than my generation, and they do more than my generation did. And being with them and seeing them also gives me hope for the future too, which is super cool.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association. And I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I, I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together, we'll learn how their life experiences shape their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Hi, everybody, for this episode, we're joined by Annie LaFrinier-Ritchie from here in Minnesota. Annie she is a regional navigator for Someplace Safe, a nonprofit agency that provides a myriad of Crime Victim Services. She has a reputation of being straightforward, and the person who's willing to say what needs to be said. Annie is involved in numerous social justice causes and has trained 10s of 1000s of individuals related to human trafficking, systemic oppression, and historical trauma. Annie, it's great to have you as a guest on the podcast, Miigwech.

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

 Miigwech. Thanks.

Paul Meunier 

I'm looking forward to meeting you. And you're just basically involved in so many things, Annie, and they're all related to the well-being of other people. I'm just wondering, how did you become such a socially conscientious person?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think that it's something that has just always been in my family. My dad, I think, is also very socially conscious. My grandpa was always involved in kind of volunteer activities in the community, kind of talking about providing care to folks who need it. My mom did direct services with folks with disabilities, and my mom's parents were very, very accepting, so kind of grew up with this idea that we should just love and care for everyone.

Paul Meunier 

That's great. And you just internalized all those feelings and all those values that they taught you. And now you're just giving it back to the communities that you serve. That's wonderful. What are your parents like? Are they very active in everything like you are?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

It depends, right? One thing that I think is really cool is my mom has been an Election Judge for as long as I can remember, probably before I was born. So that's one way that she gives back to the community and very strongly feels that that's something that she needs to be involved in. My dad is a lot less active now that he's retired. But when he was working, he was union president for his job, did all kinds of different stuff like that. I would say that they're still busy just in different ways.

Paul Meunier 

Got it. Well, that's great. So, they set the example for you for sure. And they continue to do that in their own personal way. When did you start to become so active in all this stuff? Was it at a very early age in you know, elementary school, were you the one organizing everybody and trying to make sure everybody was included or did that come later in life?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think definitely later in life. I did try to keep people included always and had this like sense of fairness throughout my entire life. Definitely advocated for other classmates who were getting bullied, always speaking out against things that I thought was wrong. But I wasn't actively involved in community work until probably the last five or six years. And I think that I kind of went into it kicking and screaming.

Paul Meunier 

Really?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Yeah, it very much aligns with my personality type. But I also am very stubborn and reluctant sometimes. And so, then people would say, well, you should be doing this. And I'm like, No, I shouldn't. And then I get to a point where I'm like, Yep, I should be doing this. And here I am saying yes to millions of different projects. So yeah.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, when you read your bio, you are involved in so many different things. Did you start off in life going down a different path - lawyer, engineer, teacher, I don't know. Did you always think you were going to be doing the kind of work you're doing or is this something that's kind of happened as a result of life events?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

It definitely happened as a result of life events. I guess I didn't really have a great plan for life. But when I was young, I really enjoyed reading. And there was a period of time where I thought, well, I'm just going to live in a van. I'm going to travel the United States, and I'm going to write books.

Paul Meunier 

That actually sounds really nice, Annie.

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Yeah, it does still today. But I went to college, and I pursued an English major. And I realized that my life goal of traveling the United States, at least in a van with a paying career probably wasn't going to happen. So definitely did not continue down that path, clearly. So, I'm not there today.

Paul Meunier 

What was your first youth worker job? What did you do to get started in this profession?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Yes. So, my first, and I guess it wasn't a direct Youth Work job but I did work with families and children. So, my first job out of college was actually as an advocate for Someplace Safe, which was actually a really fantastic job. I worked with families with all kinds of different backgrounds, different experiences, and it was a very wonderful kind of introduction into social services.

Paul Meunier 

You talk a lot about the idea that the we and us approach is more valuable than the I me attitude. How do you bring that into your world and where did that come from, that idea that we're all in this together?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think that that really came from family values, values that I was raised with, and also kind of cultural connectedness. So, I grew up with really, really strong family connections on my mom's side, my mom is non-Native. And my dad's side, my dad is Native, we weren't really connected. And I didn't understand until later kind of why that happened. And got a better understanding also, later in life, on Indigenous culture. And that understanding, again, that we are all connected, that we are all in this together and kind of anything that we do as individuals really impacts other people as well. It's also important to me too, because I recognize that for healing and well-being we can do it individually but we really need a community of people that care about us for us to be fully whole and healthy humans. So, I don't know, everything's just kind of is so interconnected. And I've felt it in my personal life and in my profession.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, I do think that comes from the Indigenous kind of part of your family, that belief system, that we're all just interconnected, including all living beings, and the air, the earth, all that kind of thing that we're just all part of one big system?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I do. And so, the interesting thing, I guess, maybe interesting isn't the right word. But I definitely have seen my Native side of the family, not necessarily prescribing to those beliefs and also struggling, right. So, when they're not connected to family, not connected to community, really not living their best whole lives, I guess, if that makes sense. So, I see that kind of as a result of historical trauma within my own family that if we step away from these traditional values, if we step away from these beliefs that we do rely upon each other and we rely upon, I mean, obviously, our environment to survive. If we're not recognizing that and taking care of that, then we're not doing okay.

Paul Meunier 

That's great. So that must be connected to all the work you're doing on historical trauma as well because so many Indigenous people are struggling to find their way and seem to be rejected in so many ways by the general population. And maybe it is because of that. I mean, that I guess that's what you're suggesting is that they backed away from that inner connectedness.

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think so yeah. And I also understand that it's hard too, right, like, experiencing historical trauma, intergenerational trauma, and then also current trauma in our lives, that it is hard to want to or even believe that that could be something that might help us. But that again, that whole community healing and connectedness I think is just like crucial.

Paul Meunier 

When you were growing up in a blended family, did your parents teach you both of their backgrounds and their belief systems and their traditions? Did you get exposure to both of those? And they seem like they might be kind of in conflict with each other sometimes.

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Yeah. So, it's funny that you say that because I think generally speaking, European-American culture really does not align with Indigenous culture. My mom's family was very, very, I don't know how I would say this, but not traditional European-American. So very, very well connected. We spent time growing up with distant relatives. So, it was just this really large family network and I think that family was really the number one focus and also love and care for each other. And again, other people. My grandma would have been incredibly socialist without recognizing that that's what she was just this idea that we should all have equal access, we should all have healthcare, we should all have like, the things that we need. Which I think in many ways aligns with traditional Indigenous values. So that was pretty cool. Having that, I guess, kind of upbringing versus this, like really insular, nuclear family, we're in it for ourselves. And we're in it for individuality. Like I did not grow up with that kind of thinking at all. But I know, so my dad, as I mentioned, he is Indigenous. He's a White Earth member. His parents moved off the reservation, before he was born because of things that they experienced kind of this idea that they wanted to escape and probably build a better life than was available at the reservation at that time. And they did not instill Indigenous values or teachings in his life growing up. So, he moved away from Duluth, that's where he was raised and moved on to the Fond du Lac Reservation. So that's where I was born and raised. And while I was little, he was kind of trying to understand what does it mean to be Native? What does it mean to be Indigenous? So, he's learning all of these things. And we're kind of all just learning together at the same time.

Paul Meunier 

Well, I think is great, you've picked up that mantle, and you're carrying it forward and bringing those traditions to the forefront, because they're just wonderful traditions. And they're just great ways to approach life and to live life. I think that's so wonderful. It sounds like, you know, everybody has kind of gone through some struggles in their lives. And certainly, your dad coming to terms with that, and understanding his background. And we've all had obstacles in front of us. And so, have you had obstacles in your life that you've had to overcome, things that have been hard, difficult to deal with?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

So many! Sorry, I shouldn't laugh because it's not funny. But it's nice to get to a place where I'm like, well, that was a lot. Yeah, I've definitely struggled with a lot. I think, particularly when I was younger, I grew up in an area where reservation community and then bordering community, where folks were not super open to Native people. And I experienced a lot of racism growing up. And I think coming to terms with that, particularly racism from folks, people in my friend group, right. So, like coming to terms with like, what is my identity? What am I like? Am I as a Native person, all of these negative things that I'm hearing from people again, that I think are my friends and that care about me? So, I definitely struggled with identity, which I think also really struggled not, I don't think I know that that really led to substance abuse problems when I was younger, too. So just again, that who am I? Am I not so much that, like, am I a good person or whatever? But like, those negative stereotypes about Native people. Is that all that I am? Really having to come to terms with that.

Paul Meunier 

And do you think that's one of the reasons you got into drugs and alcohol as a way to kind of escape from that racism and negative exposures you were getting?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Absolutely, yes. I think that there was this hope to, at some point to numb feelings and then other times kind of to escape.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. How did you get past all that, Annie, because I know you're not using today. So how, what circumstances changed? How did you approach your chemical abuse issues?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Well, I had to definitely hit rock bottom. And I think I did that a couple of times, where I was kind of living in a place where I'm like washing my clothes in the bathtub because I couldn't afford to do laundry. I couldn't afford food or any of those things. And I was in a space where I didn't feel good, obviously. And there were times of course, when you're using that you do feel good, or you don't feel anything. But then what happens after that is just feeling so much worse. And I decided that like I just don't want to feel like this anymore. It's time for me to stop being in this place. I actually got kicked out of college because of substance use. But while I was still in college, I was in a class where they talked about that we stay within our family class system. And so here I am, like literally rock bottom, can't afford food, can't afford laundry, don't have a car, don't have a license, barely getting by. And I thought to myself, I'm like, well, at some point, I can, like, afford to wash my own clothes. And I know it sounds really stupid. But this idea that like, if I tried, if I worked on healing, if I didn't make these choices that I might be in a place where I am not at the rock bottom. So, like maybe I can get out of where I am. And so, then I kind of really kept that in mind. And I'm like, okay, so maybe this is not what the rest of my life has to look like.

Paul Meunier 

Well, good for you. Annie, I've got more questions I'd like to ask you about that. But we do need to take a short break. So, we'll be right back in just a minute.

Jade Schleif 

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Paul Meunier 

Annie, we're back from break and you were just talking about overcoming your chemical dependency. Did you seek treatment or did you just stop on your own or did you have a mentor who kind of guided you through all that? Or how did you overcome that?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

A little bit of both. So, I was living in a different city, I moved home. And then I went to therapy, I started seeing a psychiatrist, got on some medications. And I think that that was really what was really helpful for me.

Paul Meunier 

Well, that's great. Do you have a mentor now, somebody who still guides you, or do you think of somebody in that way?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I do. I will I again, these people may not think of themselves as my mentors. But I absolutely have had some really fantastic women in my life who have really helped guide me throughout my career. And as people that I consider friends as well. So, one of them is Katy Eagle and she has held a bunch of different career positions in the Duluth area. She's just a fantastic human being. There's another woman here in Moorhead who's really helped coach me. Her name is Leann Wolff. And again, they're people that aren't formal mentors, but have absolutely helped guide me, not just in my career, but I guess, in accepting who I am as a human being and kind of stepping up into different types of community advocacy, leadership, all of those different things.

Paul Meunier 

Got it. That's so great when you have people like that that can share with you what they've learned along the way. It just really expedites our learning and into our personal development and becoming the best version of ourselves we can be when we have somebody to encourage us and coach us along that process. You seem so focused on doing the right thing and giving back to other people. What of all those obstacles you faced in life, what have they taught you that you can now bring into your work and give back to other people?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Well, I think for sure, perseverance. That even though situations seem like awful and they seem like the end and it feels like maybe we don't have a ton of other options. Waiting and pushing through, keeping working on, keeping trying I think is it can be effective, right, that bad situations don't last forever. And again, where it may seem that you are going to be stuck in this place for as long as you can see, there may be fantastic things beyond the horizon.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, perseverance is definitely something we all need to have right? And to work with young people and help them realize that they aren't the only ones going through obstacles, and we all have to persevere. What is your favorite thing about working with young people, Annie? What do you like the most about coaching and supporting other people in their developmental years?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think really honestly, my favorite thing is that I learn so much from them. I believe, again, that we're all lifelong learners or that we all should be. And I think that youth have a lot more answers than we give them credit for. So, in working with youth, I'm just always finding out so many different new things about the world around us, about youth culture, about, ideally, the future. And I think that that's fantastic. Again, learning from them. But then I also think, particularly with this current generation, it's so cool to interact with them because they know more I think, than my generation, and they do more than my generation did. And being with them and seeing them also gives me hope for the future too, which is super cool.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. I love that you're a lifelong learner. I've come to learn, I think, over my years that the people that are really good at youth work are lifelong learners. And they do learn from their experiences day in and day out. That's why they get good at doing this. What kinds of things have you learned from young people? What have they taught you?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Well, I think again, that perseverance, because when I see youth just like pushing through and giving it their all again, I've had my own experiences with that, but it's so nice to see it happening with folks that I've worked with. I think also one of the big things that I've seen is that value of connection too as I know like that's a big thing for me. But I see youth that I work with that have positive supports, informal networks of folks that really love and care about them that are thriving. And I think that that's really cool to see. Also, this ability to advocate and why it is important, and particularly with youth, even if you're not using the most appropriate language, that it's still so important to speak up for what you believe in. So those are all reinforcing things that I hoped was true. And that seeing it come out with youth, it's just so cool.

Paul Meunier 

It is cool. And I bet you're so good at relating and connecting with young people. And when you have that attitude that we can learn from each other, they'll really gravitate towards you and bond towards you, because they are wanting to be heard and wanting to be understood. And it seems like you bring that so well to the table when you work with other people. And we know you do a lot of training. You have trained so many people on such a variety of things. And I think we know what a good training is when we see it. But sometimes we have just exceptional trainers, people that are really good at delivering the content. And what do you think makes you a good trainer, Annie?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

I think, obviously, passion is a big one. Yeah. But I think that also this sense of authenticity. I tend to not be robotic in my communication style. And I think I bring a sense of humor, and also talking about things as they are and as people can understand them versus from a very, and not in an offensive way, but in a very academic way of speaking. I come to the table as I am.

Paul Meunier 

And you know what, you're coming to the table the way you are today. Every time, every interaction that I've had with you, I should say, you seem so authentic. And I don't know how some people can spill that out so much. But you just have that in you. Everything you say, every action you have seems so real and so authentic and that's got to be just powerful in your trainings. And I know you like to do that. Why do you like to do that teaching? What gives you the inspiration to keep wanting to help others understand things better?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Yeah, so I think one of my big passions is systems change. Having been in the system, having worked in the system, and having seen really, really negative outcomes for youth and family based on systemic decisions, I really appreciate having the opportunity to talk to folks in the field now about things that I've seen, things that have happened to folks that I've worked with, things that have happened really across the state and the US that have not provided best outcomes for the youth that we're working with because of things that we as youth workers or we as systems professionals have done. So, I really appreciate that opportunity to be able to talk about, like, we don't have to keep doing things this way. We can respond differently. We can have conversations with the youth and families that we're serving, where they feel heard, where they're also able to stay safe and we're able to meet these goals, right. So that, for me has been the biggest motivator. And I think, again, what I really, really try to make clear in training is that like, we don't have to do things this way, we can treat families differently, and we can get better outcomes.

Paul Meunier 

That's awesome. When we first met, you spoke about healing-centered engagement and I'll be honest, I don't know a lot about what that means. And I wanted to ask you, what is that? And is that part of what you train or what you bring to your youth work?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

So, I don't do that yet. Okay. Yeah, that's something that we are working on with the Minnesota Department of Health. And I think that that is just again, looking at youth services through a racial lens, recognizing how racism, oppression impacts youth and families that we're working with, and really trying to mitigate that. So again, that's something that we're working on. I'm excited to bring to the table but I'm not doing yet.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. Here's what I find really cool about you, Annie, is that you seem to find satisfaction in everything. And you've talked about that you have that ability to do that. And I have to admit that kind of blows me away. I have to focus on being positive and intentionally work at it because otherwise I get sucked into the negative I think like so many other people in this world do but how in the world do you find satisfaction in everything, Annie, because I would like to tap into that.

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

It's absolutely self-taught as well because there have been times in my life where I think I was a very pessimistic negative person who was really not great to be around. I'm really not great to have conversations with so like, not ashamed to admit that I have not always been super bubbly or wonderful that I think that I was in a pretty bad place for many times in my life and I've worked really hard to focus on the positives around me. So, like I keep a list on my phone of things that bring me joy. If I'm having a day where I notice things outside that are just like really beautiful like I'm going for a walk and I see something cute. I'll just like write it down. And so, I can make a note that these things are around me. And I think that when I make a note that I'm training myself, again, to recognize, like, these are all of the good things that I see, these are the things that I enjoy. So that when I see them again, I'm not forgetting, like, oh, there's a beautiful flower, I'm just ignoring it. Instead, I'm looking at these things. And I'm taking note of the simple things that make me feel happy on a regular basis.

Paul Meunier 

Great approach to life. What a wonderful perspective that you bring. What is the one thing about youth work that you know now that you didn't know when you started, that you wish you would have known?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Okay, so this is gonna sound awful. And I'm not saying that this is how I felt. But I really, when I was trained in on youth work, there was this idea that youth weren't individuals, if that makes sense. That there is this idea that oh I'm not sure how to say this correctly, but basically, that we provide services to children based on what we think the children need, and that youth are obviously legally children, but they really have ideas and opinions and things that matter to them. And when I first started doing case management, there was no inclusion of anything that youth may have wanted. Of course, as I'm talking to the youth that I'm serving, I'm like, okay, so this method is really not effective. And maybe we should be having conversations with youth about where do they want to go. If they're not interested in seeking this particular service, how can we still get their needs met in a different way? How can we value what's important to them while keeping them safe, while helping them move forward in their lives and have safety and health and well-being. Sounds really dumb, but the folks and the agencies that I worked in really just did not recognize youth as individuals or respect or care about their values,

Paul Meunier 

I can relate with that 100%. And I don't think it's dumb at all. Matter of fact, I was trained in as a psychologist, that there's something broken with individuals, and you were to find out what's broken and figure out how to fix it. And it didn't take me long to figure out there's so many systems and so many variables that come into play that determine how somebody is acting or why they're thinking the way they're thinking. And I right away abandoned the idea that there's just something wrong with them. Like I took responsibility and go, how do I fix things around them so that they can just develop into what they're supposed to be? And that's been such a wonderful thing. Did you get pushback about that at all, from supervisors as you started to question? Because here you are, the outspoken person willing to say whatever needs to be said. Did they say no, Annie, just chill out? Now, it's just to do like you were taught and everything will work out fine?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Well, honestly, full disclosure. In that particular organization, I think I had eight separate supervisors over the course of six years. So, there wasn't enough leadership there to pay attention, which is unfortunate. And I think we see happen in different systems as well. But I think, yeah, I don't remember having really any negative pushback, because again, there was so much turnover always happening, which I think was helpful, too, because not to say that it's good to not have supervision, but to be like, okay, we can do things that fall within state statutes, but that are honoring to the people that we're working with. So, to be able to kind of try to push that forward in the work that I was doing. But also, you will note that I am no longer in child protection, too. So, recognizing that there are limitations within systems and that there are ways, at least for me personally, to align with my values particularly on youth work outside of that field.

Paul Meunier 

Well, I am really glad that you are leading in this field and bringing that attitude forward and sharing it with other people and teaching a whole new generation of people just entering this field to look at it from that perspective. And to realize that there is qualities that they have, there is ideas that they have, and they need to be worked with not worked on. And I'm so grateful that you're doing that. And I'm really grateful that you were a guest on the podcast. It's been wonderful getting to know you and I just think you're doing wonderful things. And I believe that you are changing the lives of so many people in your training and the work that you do with that. So, thank you for what you've done. And thank you for being a guest on the podcast.

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

Paul Meunier 

You bet. Before we go, I would like to ask you what words of wisdom or inspiration would you like to leave with the listeners today, Annie?

Anne LaFrinier-Ritchie 

Oh, that's such a good question. I think looking at failure as a chance to move forward. Not as an ending, but as a potential new beginning. And I think that that for folks in the field, and also for youth that we work with, when somebody makes a mistake or a big failure, for example, for me, dropping out of and getting kicked out of college. Here I am in a really fantastic career. And at that point in my life, I would never have recognized that this would have been an option for me. So that idea that just because we get something wrong, doesn't mean it's the end. And even if it's something that's really meaningful to us, that there can be something better on the other side.

Paul Meunier 

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org. That's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.