Todd Haslam 

I look in my community, I see a lot of broken homes, I see a lot of broken people walking around on a daily basis. I have so much goodness in my heart for them, such a heart of compassion, just wanting to help. Youth work gives you the opportunity to express what's in your heart. You have some people who give back out of obligation, and you have those who give back out of passion. And I'm definitely one of those people who give back out of passion because I want to help.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association, and I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I? I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together we'll learn how their life experiences shape their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Hi everybody. As you likely know, our format for the podcast is to share how life stories of those dedicated to supporting our young people unfold. Today we are privileged to have Todd Haslam with us. He is from Portland, Jamaica, and is a beacon of hope in the field of youth work. Todd's journey is evidence of the transformative power of pivotal life experiences. From facing personal challenges to embracing moments of courage and self-honesty, Todd has forged a path uniquely his own. These defining moments have sculpted the compassionate advocate we see today, one whose commitment to supporting young people is deeply rooted in authenticity and resilience. Todd will share the intimate details of his life's narrative, offering insights into the courage it took to overcome obstacles, and the self-honesty that fuels his passion for empowering others. I think you'll really like this episode because his journey illuminates the profound impact of personal growth on our effectiveness as youth workers. Todd, thanks for being a guest on The Passionate Youth Worker podcast.

Todd Haslam 

Thank you, Paul, for having me. I'm excited to be here and share my life story with you guys.

Paul Meunier 

Great. I mentioned you've had pivotal moments that shaped who you are today, one of them happened when you were pretty young, when you were 18, and you first started volunteering in this boys home. What happened that that moment had such an incredible impact on you?

Todd Haslam 

Okay, so that was actually a pivotal moment in my youth work journey because I started out youth work volunteering out of obligation until I had that specific encounter. So, I was at a boys home volunteering and after we wrapped everything up, one of the boys he came to me and he was like, Can I speak to you for a minute? And I was like, Sure, you can go ahead. So, the thing that he said that changed my heart and just the way I saw youth work in general, he said to me, sir, when I came to this boys home the only thing I had was the clothes that I had on at the time and a pair of shoes that I had on as well. But because you guys came today, and you gave us clothes, food, and everything, now I have four pair of shoes, and I have different outfits. And just seeing the way he was grateful because of one small act that I didn't see as impactful, that just changed the way I saw youth work in general. And it just changed the trajectory of my community-building work in general.

Paul Meunier 

That's a great story. And it goes to show the power of the impact young people feel when we pour our heart into them. And you said it changed your heart. Did you know right away, Todd, this is something I wanted to do or did that moment just have an impact and then it slowly unfolded. And then you realized more you wanted to be a youth worker and put that as part of your career path?

Todd Haslam 

I didn't know right away that this is what I wanted to do long term. But as I began to do more and more and volunteer on different initiatives, I realized that this actually makes me feel fulfilled. It gives me purpose, and I just love the gratitude. So, that's when I started to say hey, this is something that I might see myself doing.

Paul Meunier 

Got it. So, it wasn't just like a switch went off, it was a slow unfolding and then now you found your purpose. And here you are doing everything you can possibly do to help our young people. That is totally cool. I know you had another big pivotal moment in your youth when you were about 12. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Todd Haslam 

All right, so at the age of 12, that's the year that my father actually left my life. And when he left, it felt as if you know, a part of me left as well, because growing up my dad was my hero. He was everything. So, when he left, it literally took a toll on me mentally. So, it affected the way I think, I reacted out of hurt. So, I was really in a bad place. So, that was actually a life-changing moment for me because I was, as they would say, on a path to destruction. Because I was trying to find like my father in every, like, male person that I can find around. So, I would hang around, you know, the cool guys who used to get me in bad situations. So, it was actually a life-changing moment because between the age of 12 to the age of 18, I think like that was the peak of my life. Although some people would say, how can that be your peak, you were just a child. But so many things happened. So many bad things, and so many good things. But because of everything that happened between that time span, it actually created a heart of gratitude in me, and a heart of compassion that has enabled me to do the work that I'm able to do now in the different communities that I serve.

Paul Meunier 

Isn't that amazing how those life experiences have such an impact on who we are, and none of us really get to escape that our life experiences really do form who we are.

Todd Haslam 

Yeah.

Paul Meunier 

How about your mom? Do you have a good relationship with your mom? I'm assuming then you grew up without a father from 12 on and just with your mom has been your primary support person. What is your relationship like with your mom and what was it like growing up just with your mom after 12?

Todd Haslam 

After 12, it started out a bit rough because I look exactly like my dad. So, every time she saw me, she saw the person who left her, the person who broke her heart. So, you know, I actually felt the brunt of her frustration for a time. And she was trying to cope with everything that had happened. But she didn't realize like I was suffering based on the way she was treating me, the things that she was saying to me. So, at first, it started out a bit rough. But we actually grow to be very close, just because of the different situations that we had to overcome. So, now we're actually almost like best friends. I love my mom. And she supports me, she supports everything that I do. So, now we have a close relationship and I'm eternally grateful for that.

Paul Meunier 

Did you have any siblings or mentors in that period of life between 12 and 18 that kept you from going too far down the wrong path?

Todd Haslam 

Yes, I did. I do have a sibling. Her name is Yolanda. She is 11. She is the better version of me. She actually helps to keep me grounded. Because she would say a lot of things. She would say I'm her hero, she looks up to me. And just the way she loves me like it did a lot for me. So, I actually wanted to do the right things because I know that I have a little sister who is trying to follow the path that I am taking. So, I tried as much as possible just to make the right decision. And just to reach the fullness of who I was meant to be, so that she can tap into her untapped potential as well. And just to add to that, I also had a mentor, his name is Shane. He saw something in me that I couldn't see myself. Because I was in high school at the time, I was just trying to be cool, trying to be seen, and trying to be heard. But he saw much more than that in me. And he was the one who started to mentor me. He was the one who introduced me to volunteering as well. And that's how my whole journey started because he took a chance with me, and that's why I want to take a chance with a lot of young people that I see suffering from identity issues and all of those issues that they're facing in their different communities.

Paul Meunier 

That is so cool. And as youth workers we do have the ability to see the positive in young people and their potential. We have good radar for knowing what that is.

Todd Haslam 

Yes.

Paul Meunier 

Shane saw that in you. Thinking back, what do you think Shane saw in you that he decided to pull you out from all the other young people and say, you know, Todd, you should really get involved with this or kind of took you under his wing. What potential did he see in you, do you think?

Todd Haslam 

In my opinion, I would say it's a heart of compassion. Because even though I was trying to be cool, I was trying to be seen and heard, I also had a heart of compassion. So, I would be giving back every chance I get, but I didn't see it. Because that's just who I am. I try to give back, I try to help people as much as I can. So, I think first of all, that's what he saw, that I have a heart for people. And not only that, he saw the leadership qualities that I have in me that I didn't see because at first I started out shy. I didn't want to speak to people, I didn't want to speak in front of a huge audience. But whenever I got the opportunity, like I literally, as we would say, I would kill it. I would kill the opportunity. I would do the best I can and I would just blow the audience away. So, I think those are some of the stuff that he saw in me that I couldn't see in myself.

Paul Meunier 

Interesting, because I see them in you too. And I'm sure our listeners are starting to get a sense of that as well. I love that you talk about you have a heart of compassion. Where do you think that heart came from? Why are you so compassionate? Is it, well, I'll just let you answer that question without trying to lead your answer a little bit.

Todd Haslam 

I would say it's based on how I was brought up, because growing up, I basically had a very humble beginning. But before that stage, I knew what it felt like to have everything that I needed. So, everything physically and everything emotionally, because I said before I was 12, my dad was my hero. He would take me to the park, he would help me like read, he would just spend time with me. So, we would bond a lot. So, I knew what it felt like to be seen, to be heard, to be loved. But then when he left, everything was stripped away from me. And in that time, when I was going through, you know, the darkest moments of my life, as I would recall it, I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard. And a lot of times like people just walked past me. And they treated me as if I'm nothing. So, based on what I've been through, I know what it feels like. I know what it feels like to want to be seen, to want to be heard, and just to be loved. Because I believe like we're emotional beings and even though like we play as if we're tough sometime, like everyone wants to be loved, they want to feel accepted. So, that's where the heart of compassion comes from. Just going through some of the things that I know others are going through. And I want to help because I wanted the help.

Paul Meunier 

Wow, that's beautiful and classic example of how life experiences influence who we are. You've taken your experiences and poured them back into other people so that they don't have to have that same feeling or sense of loneliness or loss that you had. Todd, hard to believe but we got to take a short break. But when we come back, I've got kind of a tough question to ask you. So, we'll be right back.

Jade Schleif 

No matter how you support our young people, The Professional Youth Worker, powered by YIPA, has your training and learning needs covered. Visit training.yipa.org, that's training.yipa.org to see for yourself and then join the 1000s of youth workers around the globe who learn from our easy to access exceptional trainings. From our blogs to our podcast, The Professional Youth Worker is your go-to resource for tools to help you keep going, keep learning, and keep growing. Members enjoy free unlimited access to Live Online and On-Demand trainings, and a preferred discount pricing for our one-of-a-kind certificate course. Annual memberships are ridiculously affordable for individuals and organizations. Visit training.yipa.org today to learn more. That's training.yipa.org.

Paul Meunier 

Todd, right before the break, I was saying that I had a tough question I'd like to ask you, but I'd like you to just kind of spontaneously think of a childhood memory that is positive. And tell us a little bit about what that childhood memory is.

Todd Haslam 

Positive childhood memory, it would definitely be one of the memories I had with my dad.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah.

Todd Haslam 

I remember one night I wanted, I was young, I wanted him to play with me but my dad he was a construction worker. So, he would work long hours, he would come home late at night, very tired. So, this day, he went to work at 5am and he came back around 9pm. So, like, he was extremely tired. But like I wanted to, you know, camp outside. But he literally, he just got his food, he ate, and then he said, let's go, let's go camping outside. And I think like, that's one of the best memories I had of my dad because like, it just shows the sacrifice, it shows the love and he tried his best. So, I think that's one of the best memories I have.

Paul Meunier 

That's a wonderful story. And it shows the power of love, and the hero that he was in your eyes. And now I'm really starting to understand how devastating it must have been when he left.

Todd Haslam 

Yeah.

Paul Meunier 

And the impact that must have had on you. Is that right? I mean, this had to be devastating for you.

Todd Haslam 

Yes, it was, it was extremely devastating. Because he, as I said before, like he was my hero, like I looked up to him so much. He made sure I was provided for, I was protected. But like when he left, like everything just went downhill. My mom, she was a stay-at-home mom. So, he was the only one who was providing us with everything that we needed. So, as soon as he left, shortly after we lost our house. I struggled to go to school because of financial difficulties. So, I went through a lot just because he left. And not only physically but like emotionally because I didn't have that father figure to reassure some things in me. So, I had deep insecurity issues because I didn't have anyone to tell me that I'm good enough, or that I'm doing a good job. So yes, it did have a detrimental effect.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And now you found your purpose and pouring yourself into other people, specifically young people. Do you feel like on some level, this is just kind of a calling for you to do this so that other people don't have to have that just traumatic experience? Or you can help heal or mend that experience with other young people? Is that what's your purpose, is that where the purpose comes from, do you think?

Todd Haslam 

Yes, I would definitely say that's where it comes from. Mostly because I consider myself to be blessed enough to have gone through everything that I've went through in life. And still, I'm on the right path. A lot of young people, especially like some of the friends that I had in high school, they went through the same things that I went through. They didn't have a father. All of us were, we were struggling to find our identity and who we are. But they took the wrong path. And I know some of them are dead, some of them are still on the wrong path. So, I consider myself to be blessed. And because I consider myself to be blessed, I want to help a lot of young people who are searching for a way out, because a lot of them, we'll call them like juvenile delinquents, like they tend to do a lot of things that aren't the best things to do. But they're just searching for their identity. And I feel if I can help them, then we'll have a better society.

Paul Meunier 

You have incredible emotional intelligence to be able to take these experiences and to describe them as feeling blessed that you had them. Where does that internal strength, that ability to reframe all of that, come from? Is it your spirituality? Is it your coaching and mentoring that you've had from other people or where does this deep sense of focus and passion come from?

Todd Haslam 

I would say it's a combination of all of them, like the coaching and mentoring, but mostly it's the spirituality because I'm a child of God, I'm a Christian. So, even my dad, he used to like teach me how to read the Word. And he would teach me how to pray. And he would very much like encourage me and use different scriptures to teach me how to, you know, remain humble, how to see things in a positive light. So, I would say mostly my spirituality. But if it wasn't for the other people who were helping me just to be well-rounded and grounded, then I don't think it would have work. Because, you know, a lot of people like they go to church, they have different experiences with God. But then like, they still continue to do what they're doing. But not only did I have an encounter, but I had people who were able to lead me in a path that I am very much part of now.

Paul Meunier 

Wonderful. And we want that for every young person. We want people to have those experiences and those opportunities so they can find their purpose as you describe it so nicely. Todd, what do you think the best thing about being a youth worker is?

Todd Haslam 

I would say it gives a form of expression. For me, like when I look in my community, I see a lot of broken homes, I see a lot of broken people walking around on a daily basis. And like, I have so much goodness in my heart for them, such a heart of compassion, just wanting to help. And I think youth work, it gives you the opportunity to express what's in your heart. And that's why like, you have some people who give back out of obligation and you have those who give back out of passion. And I'm definitely one of those people who give back out of passion, because I want to help. I think it's lovely when you get to build your community and just help others who are going through a rough time.

Paul Meunier 

What do you think your biggest strength is, Todd, that you bring to your ability to support young people? What is it about you that is so strong?

Todd Haslam 

I'm definitely a very good listener. Yes, I'm a very good listener. I remember, I'm just going to share a short story. I remember last year I was in the US, I was working with a nonprofit organization and we were working with some middle school kids. And there was this kid, specifically, he didn't really talk much. And nobody could figure out what was going on with him. And I didn't like try to pry too much. But like, you know, I just showed him a little love, like, every day that I got the opportunity. So, I would try to show him love. And then just listen. So, don't ask too much question, listen. And just by listening, I found out what the problem was. His brother and his father, they were stuck in Mexico. So, he was here all alone in the US with his mother. So, he was missing his family. And I believe like just being an active listener can help you to help them. Because at the end of the day, like they're the experts. The community, they're the experts, because they are the one who are facing the different situation. So, if you take the time to listen, I believe that you can have a major impact just by listening and having a heart of compassion.

Paul Meunier 

That is a wonderful trait to have. And I am just in awe of your ability and comfortableness to talk about love and compassion and bringing that to your support of young people. Because I think that it really does boil down to good listening skills and the ability to build rapport and trust with young people. And it appears that you are so smooth and comfortable doing that and being vulnerable and sharing your willingness with young people to hear them, to try to understand them, get beyond like the disruptive behaviors that they're displaying and understand really what's going on, what is it about this young person that they're struggling with right now. And I am in awe of your centeredness to take what a lot of people would just have so much bitterness and anger and self-destruction and when they lose their hero like you did. And yet you had such an internal strength to turn that into such a positive thing. So, I am really grateful that you have chosen youth work as a way to give back and on behalf of all the listeners, and we have listeners all over the world, Todd. On behalf of all them, thank you for pouring your heart and your love and your compassion into our young people.

Todd Haslam 

I appreciate that.

Paul Meunier 

You bet. Todd, before we go, as we talked about, I’d like to let you close out the show. So, what words of wisdom or inspiration would you like to leave with the listeners?

Todd Haslam 

Going back home, there is this thing that we were taught back in middle school. It says, the heights great men reach and kept were not attained by sudden flight. But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward through the night. And just to give you a little bit of definition of what that means, it just means that you might not have everything that you want overnight. It may not happen. But the key in it is to be persistent, to have discipline. And just know that it will work out, you just got to stay committed. Even if you're doing youth work, sometimes they won't like open up to you right away. But just keep showing them the love. Just keep showing them that you're here for them, you care for them. And eventually you will have a major impact. And to all the young people, just know that you are loved, you're cared for. And I just want to encourage you to continue to tap into your untapped potential, because you can make a difference and you are worth it. Thank you.

Paul Meunier 

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org, that's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.