Selena Bejarano 

I hate change. You do it scared. And I totally could have been content staying at the Dream Center forever. I totally could have been content being in the Army forever, you know. And I want to stay but God is saying No, something new. I think it's my faith that has really gotten me through those changes, because I've seen that it always winds up okay, and that it always just grows.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association. And I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I? I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together we'll learn how their life experiences shape their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker.  Hi everybody, for this episode, we're joined by Selena, Bejarano from New Mexico in the United States. She works as the program manager for Chavez County CASA and is willing to dive into whatever life presents to her. She loves serving others and considers her work with young people to be a dream job. Selena, thanks for being a guest on the podcast.

Selena Bejarano 

Thank you, I'm really happy to be here.

Paul Meunier 

It's fun to get to know you. And I'm eager to dive in and start asking questions. So let's get going. Are you ready?

Selena Bejarano 

Yep.

Paul Meunier 

Okay. From a very early age, you learned the importance of loyalty and hard work from your parents. Will you briefly talk about your mom and dad so we can understand how they taught you loyalty and hard work?

Selena Bejarano 

Absolutely. So, my parents were young parents. And so, I really did have to learn the value of hard work, not just from them but I would say my grandparents as well. Everyone just stepping in and really being a tribe to raise me and my siblings. And my parents, parents and again also grandparents, they really have it nailed down what it means to serve others. And they really are the give-you-the-shirt-off-their-back type of people. And they're also really fun and, and goofy. So I like to say that I got just a really great balance from both sides of my family.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. Did anybody work in the human services industry? Was anybody a youth worker, social worker, teacher, anything like that?

Selena Bejarano 

Oh, so my mom was actually a volunteer with the Chavez County CASA program that I'm working at now. She really loved working there and volunteering to serve the youth in our community. My dad, he's just a really personable guy, really makes friends easily. But he hasn't done what I would say any like type of service work.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And you're kind of like that too like your dad. I got to believe that it's easy for you to make friends and to connect with other people. Would you say that's true? Did you carry on some of those traits from your dad?

Selena Bejarano 

Oh, absolutely.

Paul Meunier 

How do you use them in your work? And how do you use them in your personal life? How do you take that ability to just make friends with people and use it to your advantage?

Selena Bejarano 

I will say that's probably one of my greatest strengths, actually, is that I can really read a room, I can really read a person, and just really match the vibe pretty easily. I know when to be serious. I know when to be light-hearted how to find the balance. And I think that has really, really gotten me far in my field of work and just also making connections. You know, and so I'm really thankful to have gotten that from definitely both of my parents for sure. Like I said, they're both really, really great people.

Paul Meunier 

That's great. And you have just so much personality flowing out of you, I gotta believe you are just like them. And you've done so many different things in your work life to this point. You were in the military, and you worked with kids in Los Angeles on Skid Row and you've done a lot of things. So, how did you get into youth work? What was your path like to where you are today with the CASA program?

Selena Bejarano 

I want to say probably the pathway opened up for me. I'm a Christian. And so I was pretty heavily involved with my church and just through following opportunities that the Church provided to me I was able to one, run a young adults group as well as be able to work at the Dream Center in Los Angeles since that is a Christian nonprofit. And I think that really opened the doorway for me to get to where I am now. And of course, those opportunities led to, you know, me going to the military and other things. I just gained a lot of experience through that. But I think it really started with just being involved with my church and taking advantage of the opportunities that were provided to me through that.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And we had a chance to speak a little bit before we started recording, and you talked about how important your faith is to you and religion and your church. And it's something you picked up on your own, your family certainly may be religious in their own rights, but you've found it on your own and kind of dove into that. What caused you do you think to go searching for something like that? And what did you find when you started going to church and connecting with people when you were in middle school?

Selena Bejarano 

Yes, I think even at a young age, I always felt that pull to do something greater, or to be something more. I can't really explain what it was. But when a friend invited me to church, it just felt like I had found it. You know, I could finally put a name to what this feeling was. And I think that opened up so many doors to me, and it just kind of came naturally. I'm not quite sure, like I said, how to really explain it. But it really has probably become the biggest aspect of me because I feel like my faith has kind of been the center of everything that I do. And it's what has taught me how to love people. And I guess I should say more so how to learn to love people because I believe all people are created in God's image. And so I just really try to listen on how I can love this person that's in front of me in the moment. And I think that has led to really great opportunities for me.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, and so many different things that you've done. It's really opened the door to so many opportunities for you, including where you're working right now. You don't have a formal education but you got in as a program manager because people just had faith in you. And I think that that personality, that connection has probably just opened those doors for you in all those opportunities.

Selena Bejarano 

Absolutely. Just like a little side note, while I was in basic training, a lot of people would come to my bunk to pray with them. Or they'd walk next to me during ruck marches and just ask me to pray for them. And so, it's kind of crazy that even in that environment my faith was just like such a strong pillar for me then and also for other people. So, it kind of just goes to show just how much that's allowed me to impact others. And I'm really thankful for that.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And you describe this work that you're doing now is like a dream job. Can you say why it's a dream job? What do you see that it gives you so much value?

Selena Bejarano 

Of course. Well, my CEO told me that in life you can find your career or you can also find your calling. And this job really lines up with my calling. I don't know why but the young adult community has just always been a big part of my heart, just a community that I find easy to work with, and that I relate to, and I'm able to pour into. And so, the fact that I get to help these young adults that are trying to figure out adulthood, I've been there, it's not easy. And also the fact that most of these are at-risk young adults, so I get to just help them on this journey. It just feels right. You know, and I think whenever I got the job, so many people came up to me were like, This job was made for you. This job is just perfect for you. Like I couldn't think of a better job for you. And it is a beautiful thing because it's a it's an opportunity that kind of was just created, at least in my state. And so, it almost is like this job really was created for me in this moment. And so that's a really cool deal.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, I can see that. And I can hear that in your voice too the way you describe how lucky you are to do what you get to do. And I'm wondering, it almost feels like your religious kind of calling and your work calling are kind of parallel. It seems like you're doing both things at the same time. Would I be describing that accurately.

Selena Bejarano 

Of course, Chavez County CASA isn't like a religious organization. But like you said, it lines up with my faith calling or at least what I feel called to right now. And I get to do it as a job. You know, and I do deal with a lot of people that maybe don't have faith in stuff, but I still get to learn and grow every day and get to love on them and pour into them. And so it's just a really cool meeting of both things.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And I know when we were getting to know each other, you talked about the work that you did in the Watts and Compton neighborhoods in Los Angeles. And I gotta believe that was tough work. And you just went there on your own and said, I got to do this. Can you tell the listeners about why you chose to do such tough work, and to give that love and that warmness to some of the young people who maybe didn't want to hear it from you, but you're so willing to give it? How did you come to just deciding one day, you're gonna go do that?

Selena Bejarano 

Absolutely. So, I tried the college thing. Went to UNM in Albuquerque, New Mexico, big college, the dorms, the fun out on my own everything.  And it just was not right. And I think when you're in a place, or you're in a season you're just really not supposed to be in, I think you really feel it. And so, that was that experience for me. And so, when I came back, I was searching for what was I supposed to do in this time for me, and I found out about the Dream Center. And just seeing what they did and what they were about, I decided this was it. This was what I'm supposed to be doing. So, I tried to get in but it didn't work out. And so actually, in the meantime of trying to get into there is when I started my first young adults group. So, that's where kind of that experience came in. But when the time was right for me to go, the doors just really opened up for me. I got to go there and experience, just some mind-boggling things. Like you said, I was working in Skid Row, which is a huge homeless population in Los Angeles where as soon as you get off the bus into Skid Row, it's like a wall of just the smell hits you and a lot of people like can't even handle it. And there's so many people living on the streets, doing drugs on the streets. And we would go there and just make relationships with these people, talk with them. And I would also work in like Watts, Compton, a lot of the places you hear rapped about in Hip Hop music. We were there. We were there, picking trash up off the ground in front of these, like government housings just to make their living place seem cleaner, and help them take more pride in where they live. Even though it's difficult, we would play with the kids and love on the kids and build relationship. And I think that's really the most important thing is what I learned most of from the Dream Center, is relationship and consistency are the keys to making a change. And we would be there and be there consistently, and build these relationships with people over time. And when their hearts were open, that's when, since this was a Christian organization, when their hearts were open, that's when we could kind of share, you know, the gospel and all that. But first we were there, we served them. We helped them with what they needed help with. And we were just a friend first. And so, like I said, I think consistency and relationship were the biggest aspects I took away from the Dream Center. And I've applied that into many different areas in my life.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah.  Wow, that's an impressive story and really inspirational that you're willing to give so much like that. You mentioned you were in a season, you talked about seasons before. What do you mean different seasons of life? Can you explain that a little bit more?

Selena Bejarano 

I can definitely try. I guess I see seasons almost as new chapters in my life. And I feel like for myself, I have so many different chapters.

Paul Meunier 

Yes, you do.

Selena Bejarano 

And they can tend to be radically different from one chapter to the next or one season to the next. And honestly, I think season is probably like Christian lingo that I kind of picked up. You hear Christians talk about oh, in this season, and God has you in this season. So, I think that's just kind of where I picked that up from but definitely chapters. I have very different and very fun and wild chapters in my life.

Paul Meunier 

And that's one of the things I think is the coolest about you is your willingness to just dive into different things and take things on without any I'm sure there was some trepidation, but it seems like without fear. You know, you just dive in and it seems like it's what you were meant to do so you just go do it and don't really question what you're doing. I think that's awesome.

Selena Bejarano 

You do it scared.

Paul Meunier 

You do it scared. Got it. Well, it's about time we take a little short break. So, we'll be right back after this message.

Jade Schleif 

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Paul Meunier 

Selena, we're back. And right before the break, you were talking about doing a variety of different things and having different chapters or maybe different seasons in your life to date. Do you get nervous about change? Or is change something you look for?

Selena Bejarano 

I hate change.

Paul Meunier 

Really? Now that blows me away! Are you sure?

Selena Bejarano 

Yes. So, like I said before the break, you do it scared. And I do. I am just a creature of habit. And but I think that that's been part of my growth. Part of my process is learning how to handle all these different changes going into different seasons, like I said. Because I, I totally could have been content staying at the Dream Center forever. I totally could have been content being in the Army forever, you know. And I want to stay but God is saying No, something new, something new. And so, he really has to pull me through all these different things, you know, and so that has been a big part of my growth. And again, it's I think it's my faith and that has really gotten me through those changes, because I've seen by going through so many different chapters of life, that it always winds up okay, and that it always just grows. Like I just always get so much growth in each different season.

Paul Meunier 

That's wonderful. And those skills, that ability that you have, regardless if it's a calling, or if it's God acting in a divine manner to steer you in a new direction, whatever it is, those skills have got to be so valuable for you in working with young people because when you work with others, whatever that role is, you have to be willing to do a lot of self-exploration and a lot of change in order to make yourself better to build that connection and build those relationships like you were doing with the young people in the Watts and Compton area to develop their trust and earn their respect and their relationship. It doesn't come easy. I'm wondering now you've been doing youth work for a while, quite a while. You work with young adults. What is something that surprised you about yourself that you have learned from your work today?

Selena Bejarano 

Oh, that's a really good question, Paul.

Paul Meunier 

Hey, thanks Selena!

Selena Bejarano 

Something that has surprised myself working with youth. I think something that has surprised myself working with youth is just this ability to connect, to meet them with where they're at. I tend to be a very, like this might surprise you too but I tend to be kind of like type A personality.

Paul Meunier 

Really? Again, you're blowing me away! Are you sure?

Selena Bejarano 

Oh, I'm sure. I have probably some of the best Excel spreadsheets in the office. When no one even asked for Excel spreadsheets. Like when I want to make a game plan for my participants. I have like, alright, this is our launch plan. These are the steps to take it. But I think in the moment I can really kind of set that aside and just meet them with where they're at, feel what they're feeling. And just listen to them instead of automatically being like, Do this, do this, do this, do this. And I hope that makes sense. But I think that was surprising for me. Because I think a lot of times I want to just take it on from like a business mindset. Here's a problem. Here's a solution. But I've learned a lot in just sitting there with them, learning to listen to them, feel what they're feeling, you know, and so I think that probably surprised me.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah.

Selena Bejarano 

Surprised myself.

Paul Meunier 

Like when you were in the army and some of the other things you've done before that you didn't really have that awareness about you that you could meet people on an empathetic level and meet them where they're at? Or is it that you now have just gotten good at it?

Selena Bejarano 

Maybe it's that I've gotten good at it. Maybe it's that it just comes easily. It's just easier for me. That could probably be it. Yeah. Like I said, earlier, I think this is true, you know, I have kind of been able to just be good with people naturally,

Paul Meunier 

Yeah.

Selena Bejarano 

Maybe the fact that I can pause for a moment. Because I tend to be a person that's just like, go, go, go. And like, I love you, I hear you, but let's go, let's make movement. You know, but now I've learned to just kind of pause and sit with things a little bit. And I hope that makes sense.

Paul Meunier 

It does, it makes perfect sense. And I can see that growth and development in you just the way you're describing things, I bet you have really improved with that ability from when you were younger, and I think about how good you're going to be and that natural talent, you have how you're going to develop, because I don't think that ever stops, you just get more and more better equipped to connect with different kinds of people. And that really is the art of any kind of youth work is to connect with all different kinds of people, knowing that you won't connect with everybody. But the bigger the personality types that you can connect with, the more effective you're going to be. I'm wondering, you're so positive, and you have so many good things going on about you and your faith keeps you so strong. But what kinds of things about your work, and I should say your work with young people in particular, keeps you up at night, or makes you give pause or gives you concern, makes you leery?

Selena Bejarano 

Right. So, I think it's the fact that with this work you can't really just leave at work. Because some people can go home and just leave the stack of papers at their desk. But in some cases, my work is if I don't find this person house, like housing, they are in an unsafe situation tonight. You know, and so it's things like that. I really have to do my best to help these young adults with the things that they need. And so, I do have to take a lot of my work with me. And we and when we were talking before, you know, we are our work is something you had said. And it's very true. It's true for me, it's true for my coworkers. One of my coworkers has become a good friend. And so, when we're talking, we tend to talk about work. And other people are like, can't you just stop talking about work? And we're just kinda like, no, because like, this is us, you know, and we care about these people, these young adults. And so, we kind of get to just brainstorm together and figure this out. It really does kind of become part of us. So, I think that has been something that at times does keep me up is all right, how do I help this person with housing? How do I help this person learn to grow in this area and escape these dangerous situations? Or, you know, and I'm not a therapist, so it's like, I really have to look at different resources, think of people I need to talk to find out, you know. And so, those definitely are things that tend to keep me up at night. And also, just with the growth of myself. Am I being a good boss? Am I helping my team enough?

Paul Meunier 

I don't think people in the general population understand the responsibility and the overwhelming sense of caring that we have for young people. I don't think they see that and how hard it is to detach yourself from that when you leave. Sometimes you just can't because you got emergency situations. But other times, it's more just thinking about that young person or thinking about their situation and wondering how they're doing tonight and how things are going for them. It's sometimes 24/7. We might not be physically at work, but sometimes we carry it with us all the time. That said, that's a recipe for burnout. And you have to be able to detach at some times and I'm wondering other than your church and those activities, what else do you like to do to detach and take care of yourself and do some things that you enjoy?

Selena Bejarano 

I have found that I really enjoy walking, just like taking walks to clear my head that really helps me. And like I told you; I have a coworker that has become a really good friend. And I think having someone you can talk to about work really helps. Or someone that's even just open and willing to kind of hear you out especially because a lot of what we deal with as youth workers can be pretty heavy. So, it really is nice to just be able to let that out over time. Also, for myself, I really enjoy just watching good movies. I'm a big movie buff. And reading as well, I do enjoy reading. So, just little things like that.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. Do you find it hard to make time? Do you find yourself having to say Selina slow down, do something for yourself once in a while?

Selena Bejarano 

Absolutely, absolutely, I will go, go go until I'm sick. And then even when I'm sick, I just have that feeling of I need to be doing something, I need to be doing something. And so, it's really difficult for me to be intentional about rest.

Paul Meunier 

Well, it's good that you figure that out because that's so important. And we don't need you to burn out. We need people like you in the field, doing wonderful things so that self-care is such an important thing. I'm wondering, what do you think the toughest thing about working with young people is?

Selena Bejarano 

Dang, Paul, just really hitting me with all the hard questions here. The hardest thing about working with young people...I want to say, probably just there's so many different types. At least for me, I work with some at-risk youth and some can be like a golden child. And maybe that's another thing that's really surprised me about myself in working in this is that I can relate to different types of young adults, you know. Some can be rough around the edges. And then you also bring in some that have mental illnesses that you may not understand, like, severe anxiety or depression. And so, just learning to navigate the waters of just these different personalities can be interesting and can be difficult. And so you're constantly learning from mistakes when dealing with them as well. And then also the pressure kind of is on to help them, at least for me, you know, I want to make sure that they know that I truly care about helping them and that they're not just another caseload for me or something like that. So, that can be really interesting. It's just the different types of personalities.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, that can be a challenge, right. And sometimes you work with a young person, and they remind you of another young person. And so that helps you kind of expedite your learning. But every once awhile you get people, you just think, well, this young person is completely unique. And I got to start from scratch here. I don't have anything to go to my youth worker toolkit to learn from here, I'm going to have to just start fresh, and sometimes we make mistakes. And you've mentioned you learn from your mistakes. I'm wondering, how is it for you to make mistakes? What do you do when you realize maybe you said something to a young person that rubbed them the wrong way? Or you said something in good faith but it was perceived completely different? How do you handle when you make mistakes?

Selena Bejarano 

Well, step one for myself, I definitely overthink it. Let's be honest, I'll probably stay up all night overthinking what I said. I'm probably

Paul Meunier 

Me too, Selena. Me too.

Selena Bejarano 

I would probably go to a confident be like this is kind of a situation that happened. What do you think about my communication there? Then after that, I would probably talk again with this young person and be like, I hope you know that what I said was coming from this place in my heart but how could I have portrayed that better to you? You know, how could I have gotten through better to you or what was a better way to approach this with you? And I think just communication is so important. In this chapter of my life and working with Chavez County CASA like communication is huge for us. We're constantly learning how to communicate with one another as a team, but also how to communicate with our participants. And so, that has been a big lesson for me this year is communication.

Paul Meunier 

Got it. I bet you handle all of that with grace. You are so full of personality and it's amazing how it can come through in an audio interview, I know if people are watching the video, they can see it, your smile. You just have a warm, inviting tone about you and I'm so grateful that you're in this chapter of your life or season in your life where you are helping young people because I am absolutely convinced you are changing lives for the better. And now in a program manager leadership role, you're helping others do the same thing. So, I just want to say thank you for pouring so much energy and so much of yourself and your heart into this. I'm so grateful for the work you do and I am super grateful you decided to be a guest on The Passionate Youth Worker so you could share your story with other people. So, thanks for being a guest and thanks for all you do.

Selena Bejarano 

Thank you.

Paul Meunier 

Before we go, Selena, I always give the guest the last word. What words of wisdom or inspiration would you like to leave with the listeners?

Selena Bejarano 

I think I would like to say that every season, or every chapter of our life has a purpose. Whether it's a good one or a bad one, there's a lesson we can take from each season, each chapter that can grow us as people. And from hearing my story, I hope you can tell from that, you know, I went through many different chapters of life but the lessons I took from each one, I really believe got me to where I am today, and will continue to really forge a path for me.

Paul Meunier 

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org That's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.