Marquita Butler 

I do believe that there's always that one person. And it may take a while to identify who that person is. But we all have that one person that is going to invest in you.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association. And I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I, I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening, because together we'll learn how their life experiences shaped their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker.

Paul Meunier 

Hi everybody, for this episode, we're joined by Marquita Butler from Minnesota in the United States. She is the Girls Inc, Program Director at the Minneapolis YWCA. Marquita is also a city council member where she lives and she is known as a reliable and humble leader. Marquita, thanks for being a guest on the show.

Marquita Butler 

Thank you for having me. It's my pleasure to be here this morning.

Paul Meunier 

Well, I'm super eager to interview you and get to know you more. As we were getting to know each other, some of the things really popped out. And one is just how much support you had. And we know all the research shows that the more protective factors young people have in their lives, the better their chances are at a positive youth development. As we were getting to know each other, it was so evident to me that your early years bear out that science. You were surrounded by positive, accomplished people who cared deeply for you. We just talk a little bit about what your early years were like?

Marquita Butler 

So I as you said, I've always been surrounded by a strong family unit and positive family unit. My parents have always instilled in in all of us kids that education is important. Being a good person is important. And also being involved in your community is important and making sure that you know the saying like to whom much, is given much is expected. And I come from a family that are a lot of social workers, therapists and really in that serving industry. And so it's not that surprising that, you know, not too far from that in the youth field. Yeah, I definitely had, you know, a loving home, a supportive home, and you know, really thankful for for that to both my parents.

Paul Meunier 

And I know even your friends and your extended family, everybody was really trying to pursue something meaningful in their world. And I'm interested to find out the all those people we were kind of just talking about that are in the human services industry. Did any of them work with young people, like you do?

Marquita Butler 

My father was a social worker for Hennepin County for many years. And he worked with a lot of youth. He was in different parts of social work and social services during different parts of his career. But he was always very invested in the youth that he worked with. I mean, I've been with him where people have come up to him and like Mr. Solomon, do you remember me and this is what I'm doing now. And so he always really poured in to his clients. It wasn't always just about doing the job as the social worker, but making sure that they would be set up for success. Also very involved in the community, coached football for many years, youth football. And he currently serves on the school board even though all of his children have been graduated for many years ago from the high school, but he still is very involved. You know, he goes beyond like sitting at the board meetings. He goes into the school and he runs girls and boy groups and he was really involved in like the Black History Month programming a couple years ago. He's always been very involved. Growing up, my mom was she coached us in sports. And she was very busy as as the mom of the house, but she found time to coach and my parents have always been like that house that everyone knows that they can come to if they need to eat, they just want to hang out. Till this day, my friends will talk about how much love and they've received in my parents home. And so we've always kind of been that house that everyone can go to. So yeah, maybe you wouldn't call them youth workers. And then my mom's a in-home family therapist, and so at Washburn Center for Children, so she's worked with children for the majority of her career.

Paul Meunier 

So you had a lot of exposure to all this stuff at a very early age. I'm wondering where do you think your parents got that sense of altruism. Do you know your grandparents well, and were they doing the same kind of thing? Or were your parents kind of like first generation, okay, we're just going to pour into giving back to our community?

Marquita Butler 

Yeah, I did grow up with my grandparents, and know them very well. My grandmother who unfortunately just passed over the holiday, she was really involved in community. So I know that's where my dad got that from, that spirit. She was also very into politics. So she was, she would call me and give me tips, as I was running my campaign and, and all of that. So she, she is very involved in her church community, serving community. And my dad also grew up with his grandparents who I was fortunate enough to meet my great grandparents. And they, too, were like, very involved in community. I believe they owned a storefront. And they would give out food all the time, give people jobs that needed it when they could, even though you know, they were getting by with little, they made sure to give what they could. And so that's something that I know, that's where my dad got his desire to help. And then I think for my mom, she grew up like very humble beginnings. And I think both my grandfather, he was a sheriff in a very small town, and my grandmother, a nurse. And, you know, they were always working and trying to provide and so I think her focus has always really been on nurturing us kids and making sure that we had what we needed and had the emotional and physical support and financial support to be successful.

Paul Meunier 

That's an incredible story. It goes on for generations. You are genetically loaded, to give back and to help other people and you're living out that lifestyle, just as if your parents did, and I think probably doing what they hoped you would do. That's great. And was academics a big part of that, too? Did they really push hard on that? And if they did, how was school for you, as a student?

Marquita Butler 

I would say my parents weren't strict or like, I wouldn't use the term "pushed hard" on it. But academics was very important. I was very involved in sport, growing up from a very young age. And we knew that if we wanted to play our sports, we had to have good grades. And that was not negotiable. What I appreciated about my parents was that they understood that everyone is different. And just because my sister got straight A's doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to get straight A's or my brother is going to get straight A's, right? Everyone kind of has different abilities. And so they always encouraged pay attention, show up, do your best. And that I would say that was the focus. And if you didn't, then you didn't get to do the fun stuff, like the sports or whatever it was that you were into. For me school, I think it appeared to other people that it was easy for me. But it wasn't. I really struggled in math, math, math, and science, I think were really tough for me. English and, and all of that was fine. But math and science, I really struggled. My sister, who is right above me was straight A student. It was kind of a competition, I had to get straight A's to try to keep up with her. And then I also had friends around me that were very intelligent, very smart. So trying to keep up with them as well. For college, that was not something that was really optional. Like we started talking about college from a very young age. We'd be on road trips my dad would go oh that's so and so college. Where do you all want to go? Like, what do you want to study? It was something that was part of conversation from a very young age. When you start getting to the age where you're thinking about where to go for school, it wasn't about if I'm going to school, it's like, what school am I going to and what am I going to major in. So I guess that's how I describe it in my household, how school was a part of our growing up.

Paul Meunier 

I think you really hit the jackpot in terms of like a social support network. You just, everywhere you turned you had people that were positive influences in your life. And you had so many of them. But did you have a handful or a couple or one that you would consider a mentor? And if so, who were your mentors?

Marquita Butler 

For sure. I've been very fortunate through the different stages of my life to have mentors. I might not have known at the time that they were a mentor because you know, I think when you start talking about mentor, it's something you start hearing in college and you know, and maybe you hear about it in high school, but I don't think at that age I was looking at these people as being my mentors. But for sure there's Miss Ashley we called her Miss A G because her her name is hyphenated, Miss Ashley-Grochowski. She was our freshman English teacher at Brooklyn Center High School. And she is one of those people that is very invested in her the young people that she served up to this day like we still talk. And you know, if you invite her to something, and she can make it, she'll show up. She was definitely somebody that I look to as a mentor. When I was in ninth grade, I had a Science teacher, Miss Friedrich, who approached me, because I was, at that time, I was class officer. I think I was like the vice president. And then I was also on the student council, and she told me about being student rep on the school board. I had no idea what that was or what it entailed. And so she told me about and she was like, I think you should apply, it'd be really great to have your voice on the school board. So I applied, she helped me with it. And then, and then I got accepted. And I sat on the school board for four years. And I also say with Miss Ashley, she helped me and a few other students start a soccer program. We didn't have a soccer program on our school. I think we were being told, like if we wanted to play soccer, we'd have to go to like a neighboring school. But there was enough of us that we knew wanted to play, and we didn't want to do that So Miss Ashley helped, I think it was two other students, myself, come up with a proposal and like go to the school board. And we ended up my sophomore year, started the soccer program. That was another like, key thing that she helped. So I would say those two people stand out to me in my younger, high school age, and then I, through time, have had a lot of other mentors.

Paul Meunier 

You probably mentor other people now maybe formally or informally, but I'm sure there's other people that come to you. Clearly young people come to you and you know, you're kind of a mentor for them. But do you still have a mentor today? Is there anybody who kind of fills that role for you now?

Marquita Butler 

Oh, yeah, for sure. One person that is she probably doesn't even know I consider her mentor. But one of my,

Paul Meunier 

 Well, she'll find out now!

Marquita Butler 

Yeah. She's become a really good friend as well. Her name is Karen Kelley-Ariwoola we work together at Harvest Network of Schools. For three years, she was my supervisor, it was a team of three of us. And they used to call us the dream team, because she held a very high bar for our team. And when I came into the position, there was a new role and a new idea. And I didn't know what I was doing. I was trying to figure it out. But she always held us at such a high bar that there was no question about like we would achieve what the goals were. And we would achieve them well. The way in which she supervises and the way in which she interacts with people, she always handled us with such grace. And so a lot of times when I'm flustered, I don't know what to do all think like, what would Karen Kelley-Ariwoola do in this situation, I'm able to call her when I'm having a rough day to get advice. And she's a very prayerful woman and faith-based woman. Even if I need a prayer, I know I can call her when I get overwhelmed. And so she's been somebody that's been a very consistent person. I think we started working together in 2014. So we've been knowing each other since then, and continue even though we've all left the organization have continued to remain really good friends and our support system. So she, I would say she is one of my key mentors, for sure. And I would say my father, like he is somebody that I go to a lot for things, especially like the city council. And then even with my youth programming, like if I have an idea about something just because I know, the amount of years that he invested in youth, and he always has really great ideas, he's able to help me like flush them out. And then he's gonna be honest with me, like if he thinks something doesn't sound right, or doesn't feel right, like he's gonna tell me the truth. So he's definitely another person that I look to consistently for like mentorship for sure.

Paul Meunier 

I was wondering if you were gonna say your dad, because he sounds like he's been so influential in who you are. And has really been a driving force. I know when you first were growing up, you thought one day you wanted to be an attorney, and you kind of were pursuing that, but for some reason you chose not to, and then you ended up in youth work. Can you just briefly describe a little bit how you went from wanting to be an attorney to now being a program director for a young persons program?

Marquita Butler 

So I think, you know, when we were younger, and this is what I really appreciate about the program that I run now is that we expose girls to so many different careers, starting at the middle school age. I feel like when I was growing up, what we heard about was lawyer, teacher, doctor, engineer. Those were the careers. You didn't really hear about all the things that you could potentially. Then so for whatever reason lawyer stuck to me and my father had introduced me to Pamela Alexander, she's a judge and or she was. I'm not sure if she's still on the bench now. But for him because he, and I got to shadow her, and I was just so excited. Yes, this is what I want to do. And then I finished college, I started studying for the LSAT and I started having conversations with friends, that were either in law school, or they had recently graduated law school and they were like, you have to love it. Otherwise, it's going to be really difficult for you to get through law school. I also worked fulltime through most of my collegiate career. And so I was actually kind of feeling burnt out at that point, too. So I was like, I just don't know if I have the energy to now pour into three or four years of law school. So I kind of went through a phase where I was trying to figure out what it was that I wanted to do. Right out of college, I went to work at Target Corp, downtown and as a merchandise specialist, nothing that I had even known about, before I graduated. It just an opportunity kind of presented itself. And I applied. It was a great experience. I loved working downtown, I felt like very important with my business suit on every day working downtown. But I just didn't feel fulfilled. I saw the trajectory on where I could go. Because I worked on a team with a buyer and then a business analyst. What I saw in talking with them is like they didn't really have life, like their job was their life. They made tons of money, but they didn't really have a lot of time outside of work. And that was just not something that I desired me doing. And then I just always had this kind of empty feeling like I'm I'm not like I'm missing something. So I started researching graduate schools, and I decided to go to Loyola, University of Loyola Chicago. Got my Master's in Cultural and Educational Policy Studies with a focus on International Comparative Education. And really my focus, I think, at that time was to work in higher ed and work and study abroad or work with international students. Because I'm very passionate about traveling, I'm very passionate about encouraging, specifically young people to travel. I encourage everyone to travel, but really young people. And so I thought that that was supposed to be what I was supposed to do. And I went to grad school. And then in my last year I needed to do an internship. My friend from high school had started a nonprofit. In our old high school where the older high school students, because our school was at the time 7th through 12th grade. The older like 11th, 12th grade, students would mentor the struggling 7th and 8th grade students. They would get pulled out of class and then they'd spend like an hour helping mentorship with older kids. They would get some lessons around study habits and things like that. And then they would get help with homework, whatever they were struggling in. He had asked me to come in and help with some program and evaluation, program improvement. So I accepted. And I was able to just kind of go back and forth between being home and being in Chicago because I was taking online classes, so I didn't need to be in Chicago 100%. I did that, loved it. And then I ended up getting a job offer with the actual school to do like various things. So I was working in the AVID program, I was a lunch aid. I was in the library tutoring. And then the head coach position for the girls soccer team had opened up and as I said earlier, I started the program as a young person. When that opportunity opened up. I was like, how cool would that be to like full circle to come back and coach. And it was a wonderful experience. That's when I kind of knew I was supposed to be working with younger folks. Just how I I guess I got into youth work. And since then I've had different experiences in the nonprofit, and then charter school, public school. So I've had a few different experiences across youth work.

Paul Meunier 

Well, thank you for that explanation of how you became a youth worker. Everybody's got a different path into this career it seems like and yours was an interesting one for sure. We have to take a short break. When we come back, I'd like to talk to you a little bit more about your direct service to young people. So we'll be right back.

Jade Schleif 

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Paul Meunier 

Marquita, right before the break, I was talking about talking a little bit more about your direct service with young people and what you've learned along the way. And I know you have a motto that you kind of live by and it's this; your closest friends are a reflection of you. Where did that come from and do you try to implement that life model with the young people that you work with?

Marquita Butler 

Yeah, for sure. That's something my father told us at a very young age. To be aware of who you're surrounding yourself with and who you surround yourself is a reflection of who you are. You go through different stages, and you may have friends that are knuckleheads or whatever, and they may or may or may not grow out of it. What's important is having that core group that's going to encourage and inspire you to continue to reach your goals and even aspire to for higher goals. I have friends that are in my close circle that I've had as early as sixth grade. One of my friends from sixth grade, her name is Elizabeth Alabi, Dr. Elizabeth Alabi. She is a doctor. She started talking about being a doctor when we were playing on the playground. And now she's an OB-GYN and I've seen her full journey and it's amazing. I have friends from middle school and we're still very close. A little bit larger group from college where we became friends and have really stuck together and encourage each other. And it three, three or four of them now have PhDs or MBAs, like everyone has, you know, a higher degree at this point. Being there to support each other because getting through a PhD program, or a Master's degree program isn't easy and so having those friends that continue to push you is, to me priceless. And so I do talk about that in programming a lot. Keeping positive people around you, and especially one of my programs is a diversion program. And I don't do direct service as much anymore in the world that I'm in. But when I have spoken to the girls, I talk a lot about if they're getting in trouble at school, who are you getting in trouble with? And if it's the same person, well, maybe that person isn't the best person to be associating with. And I know, it's hard to break away from, from people that you consider a friend. But if they're not doing the right thing and getting you in trouble, it's probably best to move on. So yes, it's definitely something that over the years I've talked a lot about, and encouraged young people to kind of evaluate who it is that they have around them.

Paul Meunier 

It's really important because we are a product of the people that we hang out with, and spend time with. They certainly are a reflection of us. What about our young people who just don't have that role model? I know so many of us work with young people who are living with trauma and toxic stress and what do you say to those young people when they don't have the easy person to turn to put it? What kind of advice do you give them?

Marquita Butler 

Yeah, for sure. I definitely take for granted sometimes the amount of people that are positive influences I have in my life. And so I do understand that everyone doesn't have that. But I think there's always gonna be that teacher or that coach, or if you attend an afterschool program, there is going to be somebody that cares enough to invest in you. I have a friend that really struggled at home, she had many siblings and parents worked a lot provide for the family. So she spent a lot of time after school. And there was one teacher that really invested in her who she's still very close with to this day, she calls her like her second mom. I do believe that there's always that one person. And it may take a while to identify who that person is. But we all have that one person that is going to invest in you and so trying to seek that out. And you have to be open to it. I have somebody that I mentor. We met in the Fast Forward program, and she got on my nerves. I just to this day, I still laugh about it because sometimes I would avoid her when I would see her coming because she would got on my nerves. She kept seeking me out. And then after I started working in the AVID program, she was like Miss Butler, come work with our group come work with our group and I was like, okay. And it was her senior year and it was two other seniors and they were really struggling with the senior slide and kind of giving up, like let's hurry up and get to graduation. A couple of them kind of work for you on where they were going and what they were doing. But Anna, she was really struggling with what she was going to do. And so just really worked closely with her to figure out, you know, what is it that she wants to do? What's reasonable? She told me like years later, I was the reason why she went to college. We're still in contact to this day. And that was like 10 years ago, I still check up on her here and there, and she'll, she'll give me highlights on what it is she's doing. I think there's always gonna be that one person that you can find. It just may, it may take a little bit, but I definitely think a lot of people don't have that. So

Paul Meunier 

I think so too. I think those people are out there but the problem with so many of our young people is that they've been harmed so much, or gone through so much trauma, that they don't trust that those people sometimes walk right in front of them. And they're just not noticed. And I think that that is inherent in the problem. And somehow, as youth workers, we have to be so skillful at letting them know that we can be that trusting person and to help them with those kinds of things. Young people teach us a lot about ourselves. They don't give us the luxury of just not pondering things. What have you learned from young people? What has being a youth worker taught you about yourself?

Marquita Butler 

Definitely to be authentic. When you're not being authentic, they will call you out on it. As I've gotten older, and that gap and age is growing, I'm not always going to know the lingo or what it is that you're even talking about when you say some of these words. I think, being honest about that, and not always trying to be the cool person and just being who I am. I feel like young people respect that way more than you trying to pretend like you are somebody else or something else. So definitely, they have taught me to be authentic and be okay with what I bring to group. But I would say that's probably like my biggest lesson with with young people.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, for sure. And if you're not authentic, they won't gravitate towards you for sure. They can see if you're being authentic or not. There are some common myths about young people or youth work or the field of youth work. What do you think one big myth is about being a youth worker?

Marquita Butler 

I think when people say that's babysitting. I've heard that term a lot, kind of glorified babysitters. And I would say that's definitely not true. Youth work takes skill. It takes patience, and passion. I've definitely had my tough days in youth work. And I think the reason why I continue to stay in it is because of the passion that I have for young people. Yeah, I would definitely say the whole term around babysitting is just very false. We do much more than that.

Paul Meunier 

I think it's difficult to be a youth worker. It takes a life to develop your skills I think. It's not easy. And to truly be authentic, like you were talking about is something that takes a lot of self-work as well. And that's not easy. So many people don't want to do that hard work. What's one unique thing about you that you bring to youth work, Marquita?

Marquita Butler 

I try to always get them, no matter what how old they are, I always try to get them to think about future. Just like it was done with me, right? When I talked about how from a very young age, we talked about college and things like that. Even if somebody had trauma, or they don't see like college in sight. I'm not one of those that like pushes college because maybe that's not what the right fit for you is but having those futuristic conversations. Sometimes people are just so stuck in like the day-to-day and like trying to get through what they're currently in that they don't see what they can be or what they will be, and maybe not be having those conversations at home. And so that's something that I always try to talk to young people about. What are you passionate about and how can I help you like come up with a plan? And I think it's they're never too young to like, start having those conversations. That and travel, I always talk to them about travel and why it's important. Keeping them focused on what they can do, and achieve.

Paul Meunier 

It's hard to believe that we're out of time already Marquita. The time goes by so fast, and I could listen to you talk forever. You're so full of wisdom and so full of hope and just knowledge and confidence. It's just great to listen to you. And I'm so grateful for all the work you do with young people and your ability to take this wonderful upbringing that you had, this enormous safety net of people who care deeply for you and you brought that into the field with you. And I got to believe that's got to carry over and inspire a lot of people to become very good at what they do and show up authentically, like you were talking about. So, thank you for the work you do. And thanks for being a guest on the podcast.

Marquita Butler 

Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

Paul Meunier 

Before we go though, I always like to give the guest the last word. So what words of wisdom or inspiration would you like to leave with our listeners?

Marquita Butler 

I would say something that was told to me at a very young age, and something that I keep with me, to this day, in all situations is to always leave a place better than you met it. Whether that's a job or school, a team, just making sure that you're showing up and doing your best and making it a better situation than it was when you got there.

Paul Meunier 

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org, that's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host, Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.