Florence Bugembe  

Sometimes, you look at these young girls, and you experience and just see them going through the exact thing you went through. But at some point, they feel like you don't know what they're going through that they think they are in a place no one has been. So, it is such an opportunity to tell them that I've been there. I know what you're going through. But don't stop dreaming. Just because you're going through that tough time. It doesn't stop you from becoming who you want to be.

Paul Meunier  

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association. And I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I, I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together we'll learn how their life experiences shape their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Hi, everybody. For this episode, we're joined by Florence Bugembe from the central region in Uganda. Florence grew up with 13 siblings and her parents both left the family when she was young. She lives by the motto that you can't shape what happens to you but you can determine if you make it a good or a bad outcome. Florence, thanks for being a guest on the podcast.

Florence Bugembe  

Thank you so much for having me here.

Paul Meunier  

It's wonderful to have you with us today. And I just mentioned that both your mother and your father left your family for different reasons when you were pretty young. Can you talk a little bit about why they decided to leave? And do you still have contact with them?

Florence Bugembe  

Being a young child, I may not know. I didn't know the reasons why. First, my mom left when I was three years. She had her reasons that I don't know up to now. And then I was left to grow up with my father, who left when I was 15 years old, for another woman. For him, I think he just needed to be happy with another person other than my stepmom who I stayed with. And I cannot explain why my mother left. But she left us and I saw her again when I was 21. And I'm still in touch with my parents, both of them. I speak to my mom, not so often, but we are in touch. And my dad we speak not so much. But we speak and I'm in contact with them. I know what is going on in their lives.

Paul Meunier  

So, that obviously had a pretty big impact on you and all your siblings when your parents left. What were your feelings when you were young about your parents? Were you okay with the fact that they weren't there or did you have anger about that?

Florence Bugembe  

As a normal child, everyone needs their parents when growing up. First, my mom leaving at first what really mattered was me having something to eat, and a place to sleep, and all my siblings. I didn't really care that much until I grew up and I realized the importance of having a mother in your life. So, my stepmom played a very big role in our lives. But she also had a lot going on, she never gave up on us. And, like there are some things you couldn't say, there are some things I should I could keep to myself. And not tell anyone because there was no audience for me to share my feelings in. Where I come from most of us don't share our feelings. Sometimes we keep our feelings to ourselves. But the most important thing is we grow up. Yeah, so but I never got time to share my feelings with anyone, to feel like there was no point in time whereby I felt like oh, I'll call my mother and then talk about this and we discuss this. I've not had such opportunities to do that. Our relationship is not that good. But I'm just grateful that I'm here and I am who I am today.

Paul Meunier  

Well, thank goodness your stepmother was there to raise you and I've got to believe you are somewhere in the middle of those 14 children and so you probably had older siblings that also stepped in to help you a little bit. And did you have to care for your younger siblings too? Did you have to take on a little bit of a parenting role?

Florence Bugembe  

At some point, like when we were growing up, in my culture girls are told to play like mothers in homes. So, you have to cook for them, wash, do laundry for them, and make sure they've eaten. And at some point, when there is no food at home, if you have like any money, you can chip in and buy the food. So, at some point, yes, I had to be like that. Till now, still today, so I cannot be home, and then there is no food and then just do nothing. So, it's my responsibility to ensure that if I have money, my sisters, my young customers have food at home. So, it's really a role that I've been playing, and I will continue playing for the rest of my life. If there is need, I need to come in and do that and provide.

Paul Meunier  

I can tell that plays a big part in who you are today as a person and the work you've decided to do. And we'll talk about all that in a little bit because you are doing incredible things for women and young women in your community. When you were younger, did you ever think you were going to grow up and do this kind of work where you would help other people? Was that something that was running through your mind that you're going to grow up and make sure other women don't have to experience some of the things you did?

Florence Bugembe  

When I was young, I just wanted to be a lawyer. You know, when you're just young, they ask you what do you want to be, as I want to be a lawyer, a doctor. So, for me, I wanted to be a lawyer. But education being too expensive in my country and considering where I'm coming from, my finances, my parent’s finances, and my entire family. I could not achieve that. But something happened in my life. In my family we reached at a point where we're losing a house to stay like we're going to lose everything. And we're going to lose our house. And I saw how my stepmom suffered to ensure that we have a roof on our head. That really like made me want to help more women that are going through the difficult situations like she's going through. It was really hard for her to ensure that we have food. And now our house was being taken by the bank. So, it was really a lot of things. It was traumatizing for all of us. I cried every day, my sisters cried every day. But we were just young, we didn't have anything to do. So, I saw my sisters choosing to move in with men, which was not the greatest decision at that time. Because they were really young, they were still in their teenage. So, it was really not a good thing and not pleasing at all. So, from that time, I developed a passion of wanting to work with women that are suffering, women that are trying to make ends meet, women that are trying to survive with their children regardless whether they have men around them or not. So, I just wanted that. So, my passion grew so much. And I said I wanted to be in school if I want to create an impact and cause change for these people I need to be in school. So, my passion for being in school really grew so high. And I just wanted to be in school so that I can be a part of the women that help others thriving in life.

Paul Meunier  

Well, that's an incredible amount of resilience that you have to endure all those difficulties you had as a young person and then turn around and give back to other people. That's quite a story and really a testimony to you and your character, and your willingness to just be a decent human being. You had 13 siblings. Are your siblings like that too? Have they taken a similar path or are you different than the rest of your siblings?

Florence Bugembe  

So, in my family, I'm the only one with a degree. And like I said education is really expensive. Choosing that path that means you're going to sacrifice a lot. For me, I even spent years without going to stores to buy anything for myself. Like it was really hard, there was no money to spend on that. So, I just chose to focus on school. Whatever little money I got I would just save it for school. Not so many people can do that. And my sisters couldn't do that. They just needed to survive, all of us needed to survive, but I needed more. I just wanted to be an instrument in my community and in my family. So, I chose the path like I chose to be in school, I chose to know God more to get like strength, because there was no one I could talk to, and they understand me. So, I needed like a place to go so that I'm understood. I need a source of strength. So, and one of the things that has really helped me over the years is my relationship with God. So, I chose that, and not giving up. So, I just graduated in December with a degree in social work, and social administration. Yeah, my education journey has been rough, but God has been faithful. And I'm so grateful for all the opportunities that have come my way.

Paul Meunier  

How did you get introduced to religion and your relationship with God? Was that something your family was involved with or your community or did you just seek that out on your own? How did you build that relationship and where was the motivation coming from?

Florence Bugembe  

When we were young, our dad used to take us to church. It is a culture in my country, you have to you either have to go to church or a mosque. So, in my country, in my family, my dad and my stepmom used to take us the church, that even when everything failed, I had to choose that. Because I needed a place to lean, I needed strength. I saw like God was the only source of strength that I have at the moment. So, I'm grateful for my dad for that. Because like I got to know God more because of that.

Paul Meunier  

Well, it certainly has given you so much strength and so much courage and so much resilience to overcome, sometimes, really, from my perspective, almost impossible odds to get to the place where you are today. And I know you just graduated, congratulations on that, way to go. 

Florence Bugembe  

Thank you. 

Paul Meunier  

And you're actually here in Minnesota, from Uganda, on a fellowship. What have you been learning in your fellowship when you're here in the United States?

Florence Bugembe  

So, in the fellowship, right now, I work with an agency called WISE - Women's Initiative for Self-Empowerment. We empower girls and women, immigrant women, like most of the things we've been learning, like ethical leadership, there are so many different ways of being an ethical leader. And one of them is being kind. Being an encourager, practicing inclusion, care, and consideration. And whenever I take on these classes, I just feel like this is where I'm supposed to be because being an ethical leader sometimes is draining because of the societies we live in and the communities we serve. But for anything to be effective, and give you good results in this generation, we need to be ethical. Sometimes we struggle with our brain, the inferiority complex, the things that are happening around us. But if we choose to be ethical leaders, I think we can get better results from the communities, from our organizations, and the people around us.

Paul Meunier  

Florence, believe it or not, we have to take a short break. But when we come back, I would like to talk about your work and specifically the organization that you started. So, we'll be right back after this short break.

Jade Schleif  

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Paul Meunier  

And we're back and Florence, right before the break, I was talking about an organization that you started in Uganda, the Thread of Life Women Empowerment. And I know you and a friend started this organization on your own. Can you talk a little bit about how you came up with the idea and where the courage came from, to start something like the Thread of Life Women Empowerment?

Florence Bugembe  

Thread of Life came into existence, like my friend and I used to volunteer at an organization and we were working with women from the slums. And then this organization closed. And we were so much involved in with the women, we knew their problems and what they were going through with their children. And so, we felt the need to keep going. And so, we decided to open up an organization for women where we empower them with skills, knowledge, and opportunities to support themselves and their kids. So, we ensure that we give them skills like tailoring, bead-making, financial literacy, and many like reproductive health programs, and others. So, this came into existence after realizing that most of the street kids come from certain families. And it's because parents have sent them to beg for money so that they can find something to eat at home. So, we decided to help these women, train them into tailoring programs, and they make different products. And in doing these different products, we find markets for them. And then when we sell we pay them and so they have something to take back home. So, every year we have classes, we usually have six months training. The first three months it's like for the starters, where they have to drive to do the pedaling, learn more about the machine and how it works and all that. And then after that, in the next three months, they start making the real product. And once Thread of Life has orders, we use these very women to make the products. And we believe that if women got something to do, and they are economically empowered, they can keep their families together. So, our goal is to see families stay together. Yeah.

Paul Meunier  

What a noble cause, and it sounds like an absolutely great need for these women to have options in their life. It sounds like they're just out of options, and they don't have equitable opportunities to things to advance themselves. And you're trying to put those into place. As an executive director myself, I'm always worrying about money and how to pay for things and how to keep this going. How did you fund this, where did the money come from so that you could make a little money yourself, your friend could because you can't just do this for free I don't think. How are you doing that?

Florence Bugembe  

Like when we started, we first had a break. The women were not in class because we didn't have any funding. And so, in 2020, we got an account with GlobalGiving, where we talked about what we want to do with the women and what we actually do. So, we get like a few friends that can fund us. On that project we have like five people. So, we try to work within our means for now. And we believe with time when we get more funding, we can expand the activities and add in more women because our goal is to empower like 240 women like in three years, but we haven't reached that goal because we don't have much funding yet. We just didn't want to sit back and relax. Whatever little we get we want to put it in use and empower a woman. Yeah.

Paul Meunier  

Good for you. I certainly hope you get enough funding that you need to build your capacity because it sounds like you're doing great things. And I know you work with a lot of young women too. What have you learned about yourself, Florence, in helping these young women to gain some independence? What have you learned about you, in your work?

Florence Bugembe  

I've learned that if there is an opportunity, don't take it for granted. Because many people do not have that. Whatever you're having so many people would fail to have it. And not everyone can afford to have what everyone has. So, watching these young girls go through the mistakes they've made, becoming single moms, losing hope, no education, they literally stop like dreaming, which is really so bad. So, even if it's an opportunity to have hope, even if it's an opportunity to be in school, don't take it for granted. I've learned that, I've learned to be appreciative and not taking things for granted.

Paul Meunier  

I think that's very well said, and I learned a long time ago in life that it's always your reference point of how you want to compare yourself. And you can always find people who have more than you or have it better than you. And you can always find people who have less than you do and have it worse off than you do. And I've always tried to choose to compare myself to the people that have less than I do. Because that just makes me feel so hopeful and helpful and lucky that I've got what I have. And I think of my upbringing compared to yours, Florence, I had so much more. I had a stable family stable environment, I didn't know what it was like to be hungry. And you have come out with such a good positive attitude about life. And that ability that I said in the beginning about, you can't determine what happens to you but you can determine if it's going to be a good or bad outcome, whatever that is happens to you. How in the world are you so strong? How do you develop that attitude when it would have been so easy to go the other way and be angry and bitter? Where does your strength come from?

Florence Bugembe  

I believe that in all we do, we cannot change where we come from and what happens to us. But we can make choices whether to use it for our good or for the bad. So going through what I went through, has really shaped me a lot. Anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. As long as you still have breath, you can still be that person that you want to be. I don't look at what I've been through as like as an enemy to what I want to become. But I look at it as an opportunity. It makes me stronger. Yeah, because like not like not so many people like we all go through different challenges. But we can choose either to be good or bad after this challenge has happened to us. Yeah, because the choice is in our hands. So, what gives me strength is going through the challenges. I just keep on the journey, like I don't give up because challenges come. I just know after them, if I win them, I'll be a better person and I'll be wiser, I'll be stronger. And I'll be able to do greater things because I've been through some tough times. So, I believe using that, like the challenges are used as opportunities to teach others and also tell another person that there is hope. Like do not give up. Things happen. But tomorrow is going to be better. Because I've been there and my challenges give me strength so I use them as my strength to still continue in my journey. Yeah.

Paul Meunier  

Your perspective on life is so deep and so rich, and so grateful. I am just truly impressed with you and your character and your ability to just keep going and doing better for others. And I've got to believe that just makes you feel better about yourself and makes that opportunity even seem bigger knowing what a shift it is that you've gone through. When you work with the younger women do they remind you of yourself when you were their age?

Florence Bugembe  

Yes, they do. Surprisingly, sometimes they think you've not been their age. But you have. Growing up, one of the greatest challenges I think I can talk about was not having someone to share my vision with. And my troubles with. That was really so bad. And so sometimes you look at these young girls and you experience and just see them going through the exact thing you went through. So, at some point, you just want to create a support system for them to come to you and have a conversation. But at some point, they feel like you don't know what they're going through. They think they are in a place no one has been. So, it is such an opportunity to tell them that I've been there. I know what you're going through. But don't stop dreaming. Just because you're going through that tough time it doesn't stop you from becoming who you want to be. And, you know, sometimes it's really hard. Because when you're into something, it's not easy to listen from other people. And all the advice that comes in seems like Oh, they don't know what I'm going through. But if you give yourself a push, and listen more, I think you can make better decisions. Yeah.

Paul Meunier  

Beautifully said and inspirational. Truly. Thank you for all the work you're doing in Uganda, and for all the young people and the families and the women that you're going to have an impact on. I'm so grateful you've decided to do this work and to give back in this capacity versus being a lawyer, Florence. I think you chose the right path. So, thank you for being a guest on the podcast, too.

Florence Bugembe  

Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure.

Paul Meunier  

Before we go, Florence, I always like to leave the guest with this final question. What words of wisdom or inspiration do you have for our listeners?

Florence Bugembe  

I think I have two. One is just allow yourself to go through the process. As young people, sometimes we just want to start things and boom we want to be up in the sky. That is impossible. So, we have to be patient and allow ourselves to go through the process. Because if we don't we are going to break. And in addition to that, we have your plans. But don't live on expectation. Because once your expectations are not met, you're going to be so frustrated. So, have plans, wait for opportunities, do your job well and then things will fall into place. Just allow the process to go, go through that process and don't live on so much expectation, but have plans. Yes, thank you so much.

Paul Meunier  

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org That's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.