Cailee Fitzgerald 

I've learned that there are a lot of things that have changed in terms of just what young people are pursuing these days and the kinds of possibilities that they're seeing that maybe I didn't see as a young person. But deep down the needs of a child, of a young person, they don't change and they're still always looking for an adult who will just take the time to talk to them, somebody who will show interest in them, and someone who wants to hear from them where they might want to go rather than trying to tell them where to go.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association, and I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I? I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together we'll learn how their life experiences shape their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Today, we have a remarkable guest joining us, Cailee Fitzgerald from Idaho in the United States. Cailee's life journey is nothing short of extraordinary. Growing up in an environment rife with drug abuse and illegal activities, she faced challenges that would derail most people. But against all odds, Cailee emerged as a beacon of hope. She is the first person in her family to graduate high school, a feat that seemed impossible given her circumstances. But Cailee's journey didn't stop there. Fueled by an unwavering determination, and guided by a special mentor who understood the power of hope and her love for basketball, Cailee pursued higher education with vigor. Today, Cailee holds a master's degree in public health, evidence of her resilience and tenacity. But her story doesn't end with her own success. Inspired by the support she received along her journey, Cailee is on a mission to ensure that other young people facing similar challenges have the guidance and support they need to thrive. Keep listening as Cailee shares her incredible journey of overcoming adversity, finding her purpose, and empowering others to chart their own paths to success. This is a story you won't want to miss. Welcome Cailee Fitzgerald to The Passionate Youth Worker podcast.

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Hi, Paul. Thank you for those kind words. I'm so excited to be here.

Paul Meunier 

It's great to have you. Let's jump right in. You ready to go?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Yes, I am.

Paul Meunier 

Cailee, one of the first things I learned about you is that you like to share your story. Can you just tell the listeners why you like to share your story?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Yeah, I love to share my story because when I was growing up, I lacked some of the role models that other people might have. You know, my parents weren't exactly modeling the type of behavior or lifestyle that I wanted for myself. And so, it was really important to my success that I had other adults in my life, other people in my life, who were doing well, who were successful, and who saw possibilities within me and gave me opportunities, and just took the time to talk to me, to get to know me, to ask me questions about my future, and you know, what I'm looking forward to. So, I like to share my story so that maybe I can do that for other young people or other people that have gone through similar things or are currently in similar situations to what I was facing when I grew up.

Paul Meunier 

Well then, you're the absolutely perfect guest for The Passionate Youth Worker podcast because that is what we want to do. So, thank you for laying that out so clearly. As much as you're comfortable, do you want to tell us a little bit about your mom and dad?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Yeah. So you know, I have to say that my childhood memories are very foggy. There's a lot that I don't remember. And I believe that's, you know, a natural response to trauma. But I do remember moving around quite a bit. I had six siblings, and not at one point did any of us live together at the same time. You know, my mother did have children with several different men. And both of my parents were in and out of prison. And you know, there was substance use in the home and issues with that and a lot of instability. So, I remember moving around quite a bit. And I don't recall a time where like my mom and dad were living in the house together and were together at the same time. So, there was a lot of living with my mom when I was very young. And then my dad came back into the picture, you know, out of prison for a short time and eventually we lived with him for a very short time. But what I do remember, you know, about my parents and what I'd like to point out is that you know, my dad was very funny. People loved my dad, they loved to be around my dad, all of my friends who did get to meet my dad just thought he was the greatest. Growing up, you know, I remember certain things about him that now as an adult I'm like, oh, okay, I see what was really happening there, you know, when he's on the couch, and you know, in the middle of the day and can't get up. It was not just your typical nap, there was something else, you know, going on there. But I still had the fondest memories of him growing up and really loved being around him. And he introduced me to sports, and I'm really thankful for that. My mom was, I would say, she wasn't home a lot. She was out doing her business, you know. I'm not sure, I think she did work at some point when I was younger. I have, you know, some memories of her actually being employed. But for most of the time, I believe that she was, has been unemployed. But she is a strong woman, despite her challenges. And she was a strong woman, she's no longer with us. But despite the challenges that she had, and, you know, the ways that she chose to cope with things, I know that she was a strong woman. And she was able to find humor in things. And I loved talking to her as I got older, and we got closer, and something that I really valued is getting to know her a little bit more.

Paul Meunier 

They actually sound like they're nice people. It sounds like drug addiction inflicted their lives and probably was a connection there with their illegal activity in prison and things like that, probably all connected. But they did have beautiful characteristics about them, which everybody does. And you describe them so well. And even your other five siblings, they kind of went down the same path as your parents, and somehow you didn't. Can you try to put your finger on what was so different about you and how you were able to avoid, you know, drug and alcohol abuse and things like that?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

I think about this a lot. And it's hard to pinpoint what exactly the difference was because I just have always been somebody who wants to excel. I'm very competitive at everything that I do. So, at school I was competitive.  And sports, I was extremely competitive. I'm still competitive now with board games, or you know when I do get out to play basketball every once in a while. So, I think there's just always been this competitive nature in me. And I've always been someone who's able to take a difficult situation and say, I'm not going to let this stop me, you know. I've been through so much, this isn't gonna be the thing to stop me. And growing up and seeing the things that I've seen and going through what I've gone through, I just knew I didn't want that future for myself. And for my family, you know. When I did have kids, and I do have a daughter now and a husband, but I just wanted something better. That was just that life never appealed to me, it wasn't difficult for me to say no when friends inevitably tried to get me to do things, you know, that I shouldn't have been doing. It was really easy to say, I'm not interested in that, you know. I've seen what it does to people. I've seen what it's done to my family. And there's not anything about it that I'm curious about, you know. So, I feel that a lot of it was just this this innate drive that I had to be successful. And to just do well in anything that I tried.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And we've talked about some of the things you've done, including your education and some other things, and you have excelled. And there is so much resilience in you, but you describe it as easy. And I find that fascinating because you just had such a clarity on where it is you wanted to go. I have one more question to ask you about this and then I'd like to talk about how you got support to keep that focus. But do you still have connections with your siblings now being that your life trajectories sound like they're just pretty radically different? Do you have contact with them and are in still good relationship with them?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Yeah, so I do still talk to them occasionally. My oldest sister, we talk quite a bit. When I say quite a bit for my family, that means like, once or twice a month. We have never been very close. You know, we've all been through traumatic things. And we've all kind of built up this defense mechanism of being very sarcastic with each other and not letting anyone see any emotion or knowing that anything's bothering us and we don't show affection to each other. You know, I wish it was different. But that's just how we are. And so, we talk occasionally. I go down to visit you know, maybe once or twice a year and try to get down to California where they live, you know. So, we're on good terms, you know. Thankfully, there's not any, you know, tension between most of us, or at least myself and my siblings. So, yeah, we talk occasionally but our lives are very different. And so, they're just some things you know, we don't have in common. And so, we don't spend a lot of time together. But I love them. And I'm happy to hear from them when I do.

Paul Meunier 

That's wonderful news. Thank you for sharing that. And I know both of your parents are now gone so I'm sorry to hear that. And I know that some of that lifestyle seemed to be contributing to the fact that they didn't live longer so that's sad to hear. But it's great that you have a relationship with your siblings, at least, so your family ties are still there. During this period, you had a couple, a few people I should say, that were instrumental in helping you decide what your own path was going to be. And one of them was a basketball coach that you talked to me about that was a great mentor to you. Can you tell us a little bit about this coach and this person who took you under her wing and helped you become the person you are today?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Yeah, absolutely. So, it's interesting, the way that I met her. I was in my freshman year of high school and one of my friends was trying out for the softball team. So, she was a softball coach and a basketball coach at this time, and I was just on the sideline, throwing the ball around with one of my friends. And she was like, hey, I want you to try out for my softball team. And I was like, okay, sure, you know. I played softball in middle school but I wasn't someone who like grew up playing. And so, I did try out. And she wanted to make me the pitcher for her team. But I decided not to play softball because basketball was really my passion. She wasn't my basketball coach, freshman year, I had a different coach. But I played basketball and I loved it. And I knew that was the sport I wanted to stick to. Sophomore year, though, they opened up a new high school in my town and I had to go there because it was, you know, within our city limits. I went to that high school and she was a basketball coach there. So, I remembered her from the softball tryouts. And she was, you know, an amazing coach. She immediately, you know, showed that she trusted me and gave me responsibility and made me captain of the team. And just always, you know, took the time to just talk and get to know me a little bit better which was something that I didn't have with any teachers at that point, or really, any adults at school. I kind of just went, did my thing, you know, tried to do well, and then got out of there and went home. I didn't really connect with a lot of my peers or with my teachers at that point. So, this was different. It was different to have a trusted adult who seemed to genuinely care about me and saw potential in me, gave me leadership positions. And that made a huge difference for me.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, sure sounds like it. And you went on to eventually become the captain of your high school basketball team. So, you had that leadership skills. And despite all the somewhat sounds like chaos going on in your world around you, you're still a leader on your team, and people looked up to you. But she also talked to you about college, right? And she was the first person to bring that up. Is that correct?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Yes. So, one day she just asked me, we might have, the team might have been talking about college and where they wanted to go, but she asked me specifically, where do you want to go to college? And it wasn't Do you want to go to college, Have you thought about it, she just kind of assumed like, of course you're going to college. And that was huge because I hadn't thought about going to college at that point. I didn't think that was something I could afford. I didn't know that there was any way for me to actually do that. And it wasn't something that my family ever did, you know. As you mentioned, my family didn't finish high school. And so college was kind of like this big, lofty dream for, you know, people in the movies or the more well off wealthy families. And so, I hadn't really thought about it. And she said that and it just kind of got my gears turning. And so, I started looking into financial aid, and how do I get financial aid and which schools do I want to go to and kind of just from there, took it on myself. And I remember dragging my grandma to, because I lived with my grandma at this point, dragging her to a FAFSA night at school so that they could sign us up for financial aid. I'm like, I just need you to come so I can get this done. And she's like, Okay, sure. So, you know, we filled it out and, you know, got some financial aid set up for me and I applied to a couple of schools, and you know got into a college that I was really happy about. But yeah, she opened that door for me. It showed me you know that this was a possibility. And I just took it and I ran with it.

Paul Meunier 

It's great that you had somebody like that. And I think of all the young people that our listeners work with that never have that exposure or somebody who prompts somebody to think about it. And so, how wonderful is it that you did that and was school easy or hard for you? Did you really have to work hard at it?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Well, it depends. High school, you know, up until high school it was very easy. I did excel in my classes and was often top of the class and I enjoyed school, I really liked being there, I love learning. And I'm very competitive so I liked to do the best on the test, and you know, to be top of my class. College was a little more difficult. Just, you know, a lot of people will say the freedom, and just feeling like you don't have to do things if you don't really want to do things, you know. I was an Applied Health major, I took a lot of really complex science classes, which I really, really did enjoy. It was the papers that got me, having to write papers. I am a good writer, but I don't particularly enjoy it. So, I feel like that was one of the things I struggled with the most and then you know, just wanting to sleep in and not get up and go to my classes all the time. That part was difficult. But, you know, I'm still not a person who can just not give 100% to something. So, there was a lot of procrastinating, there was a lot of really late nights, but I couldn't just not try my best on something.

Paul Meunier 

Cailee, your drive and persistence are amazing. We have to take a short break. When we come back, I want to talk about all these life lessons, how they shaped you into what you're doing today. So, we'll be right back.

Jade Schleif 

No matter how you support our young people, The Professional Youth Worker, powered by YIPA, has your training and learning needs covered. Visit training.yipa.org, that's training.yipa.org to see for yourself. And then join the 1000s of youth workers around the globe who learn from our easy to access exceptional trainings. From our blogs to our podcast, The Professional Youth Worker is your go-to resource for tools to help you keep going, keep learning, and keep growing. Members enjoy free, unlimited access to Live Online and On Demand trainings, and a preferred discount pricing for our one-of-a-kind certificate course. Annual memberships are ridiculously affordable for individuals and organizations. Visit training.yipa.org today to learn more, that's training.yipa.org.

Paul Meunier 

Cailee, right before the break I was talking about all these things that you've gone through all these experiences you've had and how you've come out on top, despite all the odds. What do you think you've learned about yourself throughout your life experiences so far, what's something you know to be true about who you are?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

I believe that I can do almost anything. I just if a challenge is thrown my way, I'm going to face it head on. I know that I'm a dependable person, that I am not going to let anything that I'm a part of be a failure. And so, I just know that I'm strong mentally and physically, and determined, and that I'm going to get the job done.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. And you can see that and you can hear that in your voice and the way you so artfully described your childhood and growing up experience. It's clear that you are going to come out on top no matter what you set your mind to. What do you think that the young people that you work with now continue to teach you about yourself? And what kind of lessons do you learn from young people today?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Well, I've learned that there are a lot of things, you know, that have changed in terms of just what young people are pursuing these days, and the kinds of possibilities that they're seeing that maybe I didn't see as a young person. But deep down, you know, the needs of a child, of a young person, they don't change, and they're still always looking for an adult who will just take the time to talk to them. Somebody who will show interest in them. And someone who wants to hear from them where they might want to go rather than trying to tell them where to go. That has remained consistent. Instead of just seeing them as someone with a bunch of problems that need to be fixed, to see them as a person who wants to be loved, and that they need care and attention. And if you can do those things, then they may start to trust you and care what you have to say about those other larger things.

Paul Meunier 

Beautifully said and I love that you use the word love. I think people deep down are looking for love and acceptance and appreciation for what they have to bring. And that leads me to my next question. Each of us that is in youth work brings something unique about ourselves, something that is tied to our life story, that makes us completely unique, just like our handprint. And we bring that into youth work. What one really unique thing that is just Cailee do you bring to your support with young people?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

I think it would be that I am very, I would say, levelheaded. I'm not easily shaken. And so, in moments of crisis or if somebody is divulging information that they have not wanted to share with anybody, I receive it well. And I think that I can make young people feel comfortable opening up and sharing and not feeling that they're being, you know, judged or looked down upon for what they've gone through or what they're experiencing, or what they're struggling with.

Paul Meunier 

Wow, that's beautiful. And if you have that perspective of not looking down on them, and just respecting what their circumstances are, you know the power of that, you've lived that. You didn't want people to judge you from your environment, you wanted people to judge you for who you are, your character, your content of your personality. That's really incredible. And I know you're self-reflective, and competitive, and always trying to get better because that's what the captain of the team does. What one thing are you working on about yourself right now, Cailee, that will make you better in your craft of supporting young people?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Well, this might not initially sound related but it really is. I am, you know, getting back into a regular exercise routine. It's something that you know, I did growing up. I was, you know, always playing sports. And then there was a time right after getting married, that I stopped exercising and working out. And, you know, life happens. And I began to realize that without some sort of structure, and without that routine, and that discipline that I really struggled mentally, physically, and emotionally and that affects all parts of your life. Whereas now that I am, you know, been doing it again for about seven months, getting up early, going to the gym at 5am and working out and pushing myself, helps me get into a better mental space, provides a lot more clarity. I just feel better. And I feel more full. And if I feel more full, I'm then better able to pour into other people. And so, I do think that that's been a tremendous help.

Paul Meunier 

That's a wonderful thing to be working on. And our physical wellness definitely ties into our emotional and social and mental health wellness, as well. So, wonderful thing to be working on. And you've had a lot of mentors in your life and now you're a mentor towards other people. But thinking back to your own experiences, what's the best advice a mentor ever gave to you?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

That's a great question. You know, I can't think of many moments where I was given a lot of advice. And that might partially just be because of the way I grew up. I didn't ask for advice. And I didn't ask for help because it was just so ingrained in me that I had to do everything on my own, that nobody else was looking out for me, and I just had to do it. But I think some of the things that made the biggest difference, as I mentioned, you know, with my basketball coach, and there have been others, was just asking me if I wanted to take on some responsibility. Like, do you want to be the captain of the basketball team? Do you want to be a leader in our youth group, you know? Just giving me those opportunities to step up. Those made the biggest difference for me.

Paul Meunier 

That's good advice. And we need people giving us those opportunities, and sometimes pushing us to jump into something that maybe doesn't feel real comfortable. Now that you're doing what you thought you'd always want to do, and that's giving back to other people, especially young people so that they can better cope with the circumstances you had, you're just really carrying it forward in a really meaningful sort of way. And what do you like best about doing that? What do you like most about being a youth worker?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

I really enjoy when you kind of see the shift or the change in somebody's thinking when they can go from I'm dealing with all of these really difficult things, you know, why is this happening to me, your life isn't fair and making that shift to, I'm going to use this as motivation, this is going to make me stronger, and then I can go on and help somebody else, you know. Just kind of seeing that light bulb go off where they realize this doesn't mean the end for me, this doesn't mean that I can't achieve great things. But perhaps the opposite, that because I am strong enough after going through these things. And because I have this experience that I can, you know, share with other people, that I can do something big, that I can give it back. I love to see that.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, and you're doing that with through your work now with the National Youth Employment Coalition. And you are giving back and you're trying to impact people on kind of a macro level with your role. And it's really wonderful to see. Cailee, it's been wonderful getting to know you. Thank you for coming on the show and sharing your story with our listeners. We now have listeners from over 100 countries throughout the world. And we've become the number one podcast for youth work in that space. And it's people like you that come on and share your story and bare your soul and help people understand that it is our life experiences that make us good at what we do. We really can't separate who we are and what we've encountered from the work that we do in supporting young people, there is no barrier. And you so well laid out your story and how you're able to overcome that and didn't let it define you, which is what we're trying to do with all the young people that we work with. So thank you, on behalf of all our listeners, for being a wonderful person, and thank you for being a guest on our podcast.

Cailee Fitzgerald 

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

Paul Meunier 

It's been a pleasure. Cailee, before we go, what words of wisdom or inspiration would you like to leave with the listeners today?

Cailee Fitzgerald 

I'd like to say that in this work, it's really easy to get caught up in trying to help with all of the really big, you know, complex issues. But oftentimes, the most progress is made when you slow down, and we take the time to ask the small questions, and have the simple, sincere conversations.

Paul Meunier 

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org, that's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host, Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.