Helen Cheromiah 

I would not go backwards and change anything about my life. If I had to do it all over again, I would go through all the same struggles, all the same trials and tribulations. That made me who I am. Those lived experiences are what helped me to move forward and helping a child change their trajectory.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association. And I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I? I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together we'll learn how their life experiences shape their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Hi, everybody, and welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Today we have an extraordinary guest whose journey into youth work is as unusual as it is inspiring. Raised by a teenage mother, Helen Cheromiah's early life experiences could have derailed her future. But instead, they became the foundation for the remarkable person she is today. After serving as a police officer for 20 years, Helen redirected her passion for supporting youth, drawing from the lessons she learned throughout her life. She understands the firsthand importance of being the supportive adult she very much needed during her own struggles as a young person. Now she dedicates herself to supporting homeless, human-trafficked, and LGBTQ plus youth. In this episode, we'll dig into Helen's unique story, exploring the intersections of her past and present. I think you'll agree, her commitment to making a difference is unmistakable. And her authenticity shines through as she works tirelessly with those who need it most. Helen, thanks for being a guest on The Passionate Youth Worker.

Helen Cheromiah 

Thanks, Paul. This is awesome.

Paul Meunier 

It's gonna be fun.

Helen Cheromiah 

Yeah.

Paul Meunier 

And Helen, as we were getting to know each other, you told me that you were raised by your mother who was barely 15 when you were born. Can you share with us what it was like being raised by a teenage mother and how some of those early experiences have shaped who you are and your perspective on your life?

Helen Cheromiah 

So, not knowing any different, I mean, I was, I had the one mom that I had. And I actually liked it. I really enjoyed that we were able to grow up together. I thought she was young enough that she understood me. At the time, she was in college and or she had gone through college and was studying psychology. So, she somewhat had the handbook that all parents are missing. She was studying, you know, child development and whatever else comes along with psychology, but she did the very best she could with growing herself and helping to grow me. I thought she did a great job.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah, sure sounds like she did and was committed to it. And it sounds like everything went okay because you turned out to be a remarkable person who is a servant to your community. And we'll talk about that a little bit more. How about your dad, was your dad in your picture when you were young?

Helen Cheromiah 

So, my mom was 15 and my dad was 19 when I was born.

Paul Meunier 

Okay.

Helen Cheromiah 

After he graduated high school, he joined the Navy. So, he was off in the Navy for four years and they disconnected. They did not stay together. They didn't have a relationship between themselves. But I was allowed to see my dad, when he came back. He had his own life. He was a fireman for the Albuquerque Fire Department. But he wasn't really there as far as helping build who I was. I didn't connect with him until later. Our visits were limited. And not because of he didn't want to or I didn't want to. It was just the situation. So, he was there, right? He had a presence in my life. He was there for birthdays and holidays. But my mom pretty much did it by herself.

Paul Meunier 

I bet that grew you two pretty close together. And do you still have a pretty tight bond with your mom now?

Helen Cheromiah 

Yes and no. We're both stubborn. We're both very stubborn. And so she, oh man, I would love to say that we grew together and we, you know, aged well together. But that wouldn't be honest. After I had my own child, I realized that as great as I thought my childhood was, I would never expose my own child to the things that I was exposed to. And so, it kind of got me in a different mindset of questioning, like, man, I thought my childhood was great. But was it really, you know? And so then, I guess in questioning that, she felt attacked that she didn't do a great job with me, and I give her all the props in the world, she did an excellent job with me. But we have two very different parenting styles. And so to see her interact with my daughter, I still have to be a little bit cautious. And I know that sounds bad because my mom is a great person but we're just very different. So, in that we butt heads a lot. And we aren't as close as we probably should be. Yeah.

Paul Meunier 

Well, hopefully that works out. Because it sounds like you'd like that. It's just you haven't been able to reconcile the differences, I think.

Helen Cheromiah 

Right.

Paul Meunier 

What were some of those things that you wouldn't want your daughters to be exposed to, that you were exposed to? Can you talk a little bit about that?

Helen Cheromiah 

I can. And it's a very touchy situation, but I don't mind sharing because it is my story.  My mom was a single mom, she went through college, and like I said, she did the best that she could with me. But in her low-level jobs, we kind of grew up in a in a poverty type situation. She did what she had to do to make ends meet, which included selling drugs. And I was exposed to, you know, people knocking at our door at all hours and asking for my mom, and if she was home, and if she had anything that they needed, you know. And it was kind of awkward. It was an awful situation to be in as a kid because I knew it was wrong. That was about the time of D.A.R.E. and red ribbon this and that. And, you know that that drugs are wrong. But I grew up exposed to it my whole entire life. And I knew it was wrong. So, I had a deep, oh, man, I can't even describe it. I had something in me that said, this is just wrong. And I did my best to shield my own children from that. And they don't have that same exposure. They don't have the exposure to poverty for one, but they don't have the exposure to that type of lifestyle. And as much as I tried to hide it from my youngest daughter, she ended up finding out. And then she questioned like, wow, how did that happen? How did I not know my whole life that our family was using drugs? Because it was rampant in my family. My aunts, my uncles, my siblings. I mean, I feel like I'm the only one that took a stand and moved in the opposite direction. Ran in the opposite direction. Everyone else just kind of followed along with we were brought up in the drug culture, and it continued with them. But it stopped with me 100%. It stopped with me.

Paul Meunier 

Okay.  Yeah. Well, that's great that you were able to do that and are now setting a good example sounds like for your own children. And that's really kudos to you for doing that. When you were young, and you saw these things happening, did you start experimenting and using drugs too or did you know from early on, you knew it was wrong, and you didn't dabble in it or how did that go?

Helen Cheromiah 

So, I did. I thought it was cool. I wanted to be cool in school. So, I took weed to school for the first time in fifth grade and shared it with my friends. We were on the playground and I didn't feel like it did anything to me at the time. Now granted, we it was a small amount. And with as many people that were trying to experiment and share it, it didn't really have an effect on any one of us, really. And so again, in eighth grade, I ended up in the hospital. So yeah, I say that that's the best experience of my life. Because had I not had that horrible experience, I may have continued with using drugs. But that changed my life forever. I ended up in the hospital. I turned myself in actually. I was, it was a lot and I went to a boarding school. And so

Paul Meunier 

And you asked to go to that boarding school, right?

Helen Cheromiah 

I did. I did. It was Santa Fe Indian School in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And it was junior high seventh and eighth grade and then high school nine through 12. And my two aunts had gone there before me. And I looked up to them a lot. I saw they played a lot of sports, they did excellent. The curriculum is excellent, school has an excellent foundation, a lot of history and Native American culture in that school. So, I wanted to go. But there was a lot of experimentation with being in middle school for one, but being alone and away from your parents and out in an environment where there's adults that are looking out for you, but not so much babysitting you. And so, you have a lot of freedoms and a lot of chances to experiment. And I did. And then I ended up needing help. I went to a trusted adult, I said, I really need some help. And I was vomiting. And I was shaking, and I was just in and out, I feel like in and out of consciousness. I woke up in a hospital. And, it was bad. And then there was some repercussions. I had to deal with the consequences of using drugs on school campus. So, at that point, I was part of a leadership group, I was student council, I was on top of everything that I could possibly get into at that level. All of that was threatened by my choices. And I was threatened to be kicked out of the leadership group, you know, threatened to be kicked out of student council because you can't be a leader and do those types of things. And so I pled my case, and I was able to continue with the leadership group. It was my last year of student council anyway, so it's, you know, that ran its course. But I pled my case and they allowed me to stay in that position. I was grateful that a mistake like that didn't derail me. But yeah, I did. And those were the only two experiences I had was fifth grade, and it didn't really seem like much. But fifth grade is really young. And then eighth grade changed my life.

Paul Meunier 

It sure sounds like it and you said it could have derailed you but it didn't. And as the introduction I was talking about, not only did it not derail you, it helped you become the incredible person you are, which is the intent of this podcast is to highlight how life experiences influence who we become as adults and who we become as youth workers. And now you're doing incredible things for young people. And we'll talk about that more. But I also know you're part of the LGBTQ plus community. And you had that also going on. So, can you tell us a little bit about in addition to the exposure to drugs and your experimentation with that, and serious situation you went through, what was it like when you came out? And what was the reception of the people around you? And how did that impact your developmental years?

Helen Cheromiah 

Yeah, so I knew I was different in elementary school. When little girls start developing crushes on little boys. I knew that's what we were supposed to do. But it just wasn't happening for me. I felt different. I felt like an outcast. I felt like something was wrong with me. And I didn't know really how to process it. Why am I not like the rest of these little girls that are getting crushes on little boys? Then I went into middle school and went to Santa Fe Indian School. And again, we weren't babysat, very little I don't want to say little guidance. But we had plenty of guidance, you know, but you take those choices and you make them your own. So, I got my I had my first girlfriend in eighth grade. And I knew then that that just felt right for me. I discovered a, I switched schools after that. After I had the incident in eighth grade, I did not continue with that same school through high school, I went back to Albuquerque, went to a regular public school, and ended up finding an LGBTQ plus support group, under-21 LGBTQ plus support group that me and my friends went to every Friday night. So, in high school then I found that there were other people like me. There were other people that were struggling with the same things that I was struggling with as far as gender and sexual identity. And we banded together, we came across the support group, and we were there every Friday night because those were our people, those where we felt safe and comfortable and weren't attacked and made fun of and questioned. And we were just with our own kind again.

Paul Meunier 

Thank goodness you found a group like that. That had to be very comforting to know that you had a safe place to go and to just be who you really are. Helen, we need to take a short break but when we come back, I want to ask you a few more questions about how you moved into youth work. So, we'll be right back.

Jade Schleif 

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Paul Meunier 

Helen, right before the break I was saying I'd like to talk to you a little bit about your trajectory into youth work. And I think it's so interesting as you're describing the exposure that you had at a very young age to drugs and illegal selling of drugs and things like that, and how you knew intuitively in your heart It was wrong. And then you went into law enforcement for 20 years. Can you talk about what drew you into law enforcement? Why did you choose that career?

Helen Cheromiah 

So, there was a point in my childhood that I remember sitting in my room thinking, I should call CPS, I'm not in a good spot.  I should call somebody anonymously and tell them that this child needs help. So, I didn't. But I knew that I needed to make a change for myself. And after the eighth-grade drug hospital incident, I like I said, I went to a different high school and found my people. And then I had a couple of different encounters with law enforcement. But never any that involved drugs or any type of child abuse. I had gotten into a car accident. And the lady driver, the lady motorcycle cop shows up with a blonde ponytail sticking out the back of her helmet. And that really was interesting to me. I thought, wow, this little blonde-haired lady cop is riding a motorcycle and she's here to help me. And then another incident later in my years was a friend of mine had committed suicide. And we were there at the scene when the medics and the police were there, controlling the situation and taking her out of the home. And I looked at those police officers and their professionalism and knowing that they brought comfort to the situation. I figured that was my calling to do some good and help others. And then later on, I had a mentor that saw it in me that I had the qualities that it would take to be a good police officer. And he pushed me toward that, you know, career path. And I, again, found my people. I felt comfortable enough. I jumped right in, I ran with it. And I made a very successful career for myself.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah.  Sounds like it and I know you were a school resource officers for many of those 20 years so you know directly about working with young people. So When you were a police officer and now you're directly supporting young people, is service part of who you are? Do you think of it that way, that your life purpose is to help other people or how do you view that and your experiences into what you're doing now?

Helen Cheromiah 

Yes. I do. I do like to help people. I never really saw it as a service, I guess. I just saw it as I have these skills, I have this, these opportunities. And if I can make someone's life better then I'm gonna try. I had somewhat those people in my life when I was younger. And it is kind of like paying it back, paying it forward. But, man, I don't know. I just do feel like my purpose in life is to help others.

Paul Meunier 

Wow. So, all those experiences that you had growing up, and everything that has gotten you to where you are today, how did those experiences intersect with the work that you're doing with young people?

Helen Cheromiah 

So, after doing the 20-year law enforcement career, that exposed me to a lot. First of all, my background, my childhood exposed me to a lot that most kids probably shouldn't have been exposed to. And then the career choice that I made, a lot of adults can't wrap their head around all of the exposure that you get in a high crime city and 20 years. Our community is about 50,000 And we have every crime known across the country. I mean, crime doesn't discriminate. So, it happens everywhere. And so you get those exposures. And so, when I retired, I knew that I wasn't done. I knew that I was young enough to start another career, and that I needed to continue using the skills that I acquired to be able to help others. And moving into this job that I have now, I really just have a passion for young people. I found it when I was a school resource officer. I was a cop for 20 years but working in the schools and assigned to the schools and working directly with the young people, I knew that's where I was going to make a change. I knew that's where I was going to make a difference. I worked in all schools, I worked in elementary schools, middle school, high school, and then you can affect them at all different stages of their lives. They saw me in kindergarten, and then they saw me in 10th grade, you know? I was that constant in their life that kind of really wasn't going anywhere. And someone that a lot of my former students ended up being police officers or first responders. So, I just think that's the neatest thing to see it come back around full circle like that.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah. So, the things you've learned along the way in your life, which there are quite a few things, and you've passed many hurdles in your career to get to where you are now, how did all those things, how do they impact the way you interact and your relationships are built with young people? Are you more empathetic, more real, kind of like directive and saying, Hey, come on, don't tell me this. I know what's really going on there? How do you interact with young people based on everything you've learned in your life?

Helen Cheromiah 

I feel like I'm just understanding.

Paul Meunier 

Okay.

Helen Cheromiah 

So, a lot of my experiences are lived experiences. I didn't go to college, I don't have a degree, all of my experiences are personal experiences for me. So, when I have a young person that is in a difficult situation, it's not new for me. But I can relate, I can relate not because I learned it out of a book, but I can relate because I lived it. And I feel like I have a lot to offer in the way of guidance because I was able to overcome, and they can too. I want to deliver that message of this is where I grew up, this is what I was exposed to and this is where I am now. And you can do the same.

Paul Meunier 

Beautiful. I gotta believe that they see you as being very authentic and real. And that makes all the difference in the world. So, in totality, growing up with your mother, just you two kind of a partnership because you're so close in age. Thinking back now, in totality, do you see that as being an asset or a liability?

Helen Cheromiah 

Asset 100%. I would not go backwards and change anything about my life. If I had to do it all over again, I would go through all the same struggles, all the same trials and tribulations. That made me who I am. And that, again, that those lived experiences are what helped me to move forward in helping a child change their trajectory.

Paul Meunier 

Yeah.

Helen Cheromiah 

They feel like they were dealt, sometimes they feel like they were dealt a bad hand at cards and they have to play that hand to the best of their ability. And they do it without realizing that, yeah, there's some things that you can discard and some things that you can pick up. And you discard what doesn't work for you, and you pick up something that may not work for you but then you can discard that as well. So, let's play the hand that you were dealt, but let's not get stuck in that's all you have. You can get more, you can achieve more, you can do more, you can be more.

Paul Meunier 

I absolutely loved your answer. And the idea that there's some perfect way to grow up is just a myth, right? It doesn't have to be these circumstances is how you produce a positive adult someday. It all depends on all the variables and all the love and authenticity that's poured into that person. And it sounds like despite everything your mother gave you a lot of love and showed a lot of care for you, and did the best that she could. And the idea that all we can do is take what life gives us and turn it to the best advantage that we possibly can and you are just a living breathing example of that innate humaneness that we have to decide how our circumstances are going to impact how we see the world and how we behave and how we react to things. So, Helen, I couldn't have agreed with your answer more. It was just wonderful to hear it.

Helen Cheromiah 

Thanks.

Paul Meunier 

Believe it or not, we're close to the end of the episode and I just want to say thank you for all you have done. And on behalf of our listeners, thank you for continuing to pour your heart and soul into our young people who probably need it the most. I know that you are doing incredible work and your authenticity is so real. And it just feels great to have a conversation with a person like you. And I also say, I hope you and your mother someday can see eye-to-eye because if she's anything like you, she's a remarkable person too. And I hope that you can reconcile some of those differences that you have. But thank you for being a guest on the podcast.

Helen Cheromiah 

Absolutely. This was awesome. Thank you for having me.

Paul Meunier 

You bet. Before we go, Helen, I would like to give you the last chance to close out your episode. What words of wisdom or inspiration would you like to leave with the listeners today?

Helen Cheromiah 

One of my favorite authors, public speakers, was Dr. Wayne Dyer. He has passed away but I thought he was awesome. My mom gave me a tape set of his when I was 19. It was called How to be a No-Limit Person. And he has amazing quotes. One of my favorites is "you are the sum total of the choices you make in your life." And that sticks with me. Because regardless again of the hand that you were dealt, the background that you grew up with, the childhood that wasn't ideal, you are the sum total of the choices you make in your own life.

Paul Meunier 

If you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org, that's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host, Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.