Sherrita Allen 

They tell you don't tell your clients you love them. But I did. I loved her. She was like, I love you. And I was like, I love you more. And we give each other the side hug. And come in the next day, hating each other again. But at the end of the day, I love you. I love you more, and we will keep going.

Paul Meunier 

Hello, I'm Paul Meunier, the executive director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association. And I'm a youth worker at heart. How lucky am I? I have the privilege to meet youth workers from around the globe and learn their stories and share them with the entire world. I'm glad you're listening because together we'll learn how their life experiences shaped their youth work. As you listen, I encourage you to consider how your experiences shape what you have to offer young people. Welcome to this edition of The Passionate Youth Worker. Hi everybody, for this episode we're joined by Sherrita Allen from Missouri in the United States. She's the executive director at The Covering House and has a broad range of direct care experiences. She has educated other professionals at Washington and Webster Universities. And since 2014, Sherrita has been exclusively counseling survivors of sex trafficking. Sherrita thanks for being a guest on the podcast.

Sherrita Allen 

Thanks for having me, Paul.

Paul Meunier 

You're a self-described people person. A lot of people might describe that differently. How do you describe yourself as a people person? What does that mean?

Sherrita Allen 

Means I love people. I genuinely believe that there is inherently good in people. You just have to look for it. Some are easier to love than others. But I genuinely enjoy people, enjoy meeting a new friend every day, which is one of my goals is always to meet a new friend. I really love people. And just love the camaraderie I love the connection that you have with people.

Paul Meunier 

Well, you're a real, honest, sincere person, I can see why you probably make a lot of friends everywhere you go. And you probably do make a new friend every day. When we were getting to know each other, you told me that people are always good regardless. And I want to know, how do you always find the good in others when sometimes it's so hard to do?

Sherrita Allen 

I think my faith plays a lot into that. They say we were born sinful, but just with the way God looks at us, he loves us and looks at us as his children. And so who am I to say anything different about his people. So I try to look at people the way God looks at them. And if he can see some good in me, then I can definitely find some good and somebody else. That's pretty easy because there are days that I know that I'm unlovable so I always feel God's love. I always want to extend that to other people. That's what I believe.

Paul Meunier 

That is great and is so wonderful that you're always looking for the best in people. Where did your deep-seated faith come from?

Sherrita Allen 

My parents. Born and raised Pentecostal Apostolic. A joke that Jesus came with my last name. So I've never known anything but church. My parents lived and walked the life of loving Christ in front of us, me and my sisters, all of our lives. As an, I guess, a late teen about 15, 16 when I had the experience to really learn God through for myself, not through what my parents were saying, but exactly through, you know, my encounter with him. I've just never turned back. It's always been a love relationship. No matter how many critics that say God doesn't exist. I know my experience.  For me, he is real. And I've had my parents to thank for that.

Paul Meunier 

That's wonderful. So around 14 or 15, something happened. What happened that you really anchored you're such a strong belief in Jesus.

Sherrita Allen 

I got pregnant when I was a teenager. It was one of those things that was embarrassing. I had a lot of people turn their backs on me. My friend, we were the proud V crew. We were proud of our purity and our sexuality in that's what, you know, the Bible wanted and what God expected. I got caught up with this handsome guy with these beautiful brown eyes. And now my life turned. In the midst of all of that turmoil of feeling, feeling worthless, feeling like, you know, I had failed my family, my parents, my sister's, friends, myself. So I had such high hopes to be this great person and I thought that you know, I messed it all up. But in the midst of that turmoil, I promise, that experience with God that I was talking about before, was what turned my life. Felt like God just wrapped himself around me and he showed me who was really in my corner. I know my I stepped up, really my mom's sister, she really stepped up in um loved me through that really, really hard time in my life. And then just that connection I had with God that he told me, regardless of what was happening in my life right now, I'm not gonna leave you, I'm right here with you. You're gonna make it through this, and you're still mine. And whoo,  even thinking about it now, you know, I'm in my 40s. But I think about that moment, in my teenage years, when I considered dying, I was like, I would rather die than live this life. And God said, no, that you are mine, and you will be a world-changer. And you're going to do this. So, you know, girded up my loins, and went about my business. I didn't keep the baby, didn't have the baby, wasn't a live birth. So that was a, it was pretty devastating. But I think just that experience also was a catalyst for change in my life, and how I decided to become that advocate or that support for people who were in my situation.

Paul Meunier 

Wonderful that you're able to turn that into some sort of positive. I know, your family was pretty committed to the church and religion. And how did that go over when your parents found out that you were pregnant? What was that like for you?

Sherrita Allen 

Oh, they were really hurt. They didn't shame me with religion. That's just not my parents. That's not how they do things anyways. I was really grateful for that. But they were just disappointed because they just really wanted my sisters and I to make it out of high school and not have to do the things that generational for that our family has gone through with having children early or without out of wedlock, or having to suffer with poverty and things. They had so many high hopes for us. So it was really disappointing for them. I actually had a conversation with my dad a couple of days ago and was talking about, you know, I'm going to be on a podcast and things and was telling them all the kind of things that were thing going on. I was catching him up on my life. And he said to me, he said, you're an answered prayer. And before I burst into tears and cried like a baby, and I was like, well, what was the prayer? And he said that my children would be successful and prosperous. He said, God is showing that through you in your life and everything that you're doing. He said you say you care for people, so well. You make me proud. ==And then of course, the tears came flooding. I cried like a newborn. I was a blubbery mess. So, you know...

Paul Meunier 

You've done such wonderful things for so many people, and sometimes the most difficult populations, from my perspective, sex trafficked youth, to be able to do that work and to not be so affected by that is just a miracle in and of itself, that you can somehow survive all that. But I also want to know a little bit were your parents, people people too? Did they also just love everybody, and outogoing and looking to meet a new friend every day like you are?

Sherrita Allen 

That is so my dad. My dad is the people person. And my mom is a real big caregiver. My mom says that I may look just like my mom, but I act just like my dad. So. So my dad, he knows everybody. And he's this real big social, and he will talk your ear off. But my mom is a caregiver. She, I was talking to her this morning and she's she's a foster parent. And she has a two-year old and a seven-year old right now. And the two-year old has her just running through the house going crazy. It was really funny. But I just watched her and she was talking about continuing to be a foster parent or not, because these kids are going to get to go back home to their family, which we're excited about. But even in the midst of that, before she became an official foster parent, my mom had learned even from her mom how to just take in people, we care for people. If somebody needed a place to stay, if you had an extra bed then they stayed. My mom said all the time if you could cook for two, you can cook for 10. So it was never hard to find extra food to feed someone who was hungry or somebody needed a place to stay. All I've seen my whole life is caring for people think it was inevitable that this was the track I was gonna take.

Paul Meunier 

It sure sounds like it. It sounds like you're just the perfect mix of your mom and dad together. You've got such a caregiving side of you. But you're also so social and so easy to get to know. Your parents must be very proud, grateful for what you do, as I know I am of how much work you give back to your community and how much you deeply care. When you were growing up was school easy or hard for you?

Sherrita Allen 

School was easy. I went to the normally School District in St. Louis. And they had this program called the Independent Study Program, called the ISP. ISP went from 4th grade to 12th grade. And I was able to be in it my whole school career, academic career. I love learning, I still have a love for learning. I keep getting called a nerd. The other day it's like I come home, I greet my husband, I cook dinner, you know, and then I'm like you need anything I talk a little bit and then I go read a book because I have this hunger for learning and just getting to know something. I built a lot of relationships and I had a lot of different gamut of friends. So not only my nerd group, my friends from the neighborhood who you know, a little sketchy, did some little gang fighting. But we grew up together from elementary school to high school had a gamut of friends and I love to play instruments, and I was in theater and marching band. I love school. I'm thinking about going back. If it wasn't for these darn student loans, I would definitely go back.

Paul Meunier 

It doesn't seem right that that would prohibit you. That lifelong learner is something that must serve you so well in your professional and personal life, too. Just to always be inquisitive, and to always learn. Do you have a hero? Anybody that you really look up to?

Sherrita Allen 

Ooh, that's a great question. I'd have to pick my mom. I love my mom. She's my buddy. I've watched her use what we call quiet courage. She has suffered in her childhood. But she's always come out to be that protector. She said all she ever wanted to be was a mom. And now she is a professional mom. And I see her give, I see her love. She takes babies who have been drug-exposed or who have come in failure to thrive or are barely making it. And they say they just need some love. I've seen her nurture child after child. Some of them literally back to life through her love. That's the kind of person I want to be I want to show love, because that's what I came from. My mom still, again, in my 40s and if I'm having a bad day, I run to my mom and she'll hold me and she'll say, oh, baby, what's going on? And she'll hold me and we'll crack jokes. She'll love on me until I can go home and then deal with whatever stresses in my life. My mom's my hero. I love my mommy.

Paul Meunier 

She sounds like an absolutely wonderful person. You're lucky to grow up with such a hero. And it seems to me like that's where you got your extreme passion for helping young people from. Would you say that is true, but in a different sort of way in a professional career, counseling and teaching and all these kinds of things?

Sherrita Allen 

I would definitely say that. Hate to be just like a broken record but that's how that's how my grandmother we would go in our house. She lived in the city of St. Louis. She had a seven bedroom house. We had eight kids so there was enough people but then there was always room for guests and all my cousins would be there and you know even on my dad's side my my cousin's we went all actually pal at my mom's house so cousins both sides,  mom and dad, would have family gatherings or now we gather at my older sister's house. Make a lot of noise and karaoke and just love on each other. Nurture each other, take care of kids always watching out for kids. Not being offensive if someone corrects your children, because we understand that village. I have a great village around me right now. We all are caring for kids. That's what it is. We joke that if you want something to happen, then that's the last resort about telling me because I'll turn you in. If you're hurting the kid, it doesn't matter who you are. And as much as I love my mom, if she's hurting the kid, I'm turning her in, because kids are my life. Gotta protect them.

Paul Meunier 

You truly were born to do this work, Sherrita. Thank you for everything you do. We do have to take a short break. When we come back, I'd like to ask you what your life motto is, and talk a little bit about your work and what you think about the state of young people today. So we'll be right back after this short break.

Jade Schleif 

No matter how you support our young people, The Professional Youth Worker, powered by YIPA, has your training and learning needs covered. Visit training.yipa.org. That's training.yipa.org to see for yourself, and then join the 1000s of youth workers around the globe who learn from our easy-to-access exceptional trainings. From our blogs to our podcast, The Professional Youth Worker is your go-to resource for tools to help you keep going, keep learning, and keep growing. Members enjoy free, unlimited access to Live Online and On-Demand trainings, and a preferred discount pricing for our one-of-a-kind certificate course. Annual memberships are ridiculously affordable for individuals and organizations. Visit training.yipa.org today to learn more. That's training.yipa.org.

Paul Meunier 

Sherrita, right before the break, I was asking you if you have a life motto. Do you have a life motto and if so what is it?

Sherrita Allen 

Actually I do. One of the things I do at work is when we're doing orientation, and I'm training my leaders and I asked them, what's your life's values, your mission, and your vision? If we're going to lead in this social service arena, especially in this anti-trafficking arena, can't be that wounded healer. You have to have a vision for your life so that you can do what the best for the people that we serve. I look at my values as integrity and transparency and loyalty. How I base my life. One of the things I've said since high school is you have to see me at my worst to love me at my best. I believe that my vision for life is to make the greatest impact through service and worship. Those are the way I live my life. If you can see the worst in me and still love me, you have earned the right to my vulnerability. I try to be that when I'm working with the people living life doing life with them, seeing them even at their worst, so that they can even love themselves at their best.

Paul Meunier 

That's an incredible motto. And it's one that you made up. I usually when I ask guests that, they have one that somebody else has said. You've got your own. That's very, very cool. You also said when we were getting to know each other, I don't know a stranger. I've never heard anybody say that before. Can you talk a little bit about what that means - I don't know a stranger?

Sherrita Allen 

We are made to be afraid of strangers. Strangers have fear in them, where we have to be cautious with people who we don't know. Instead of looking at people as strangers, I always look at them as a potential friend. Like I said, I want to meet a new friend every day. A stranger is jsut somebody that I haven't made my friend yet. I walk into a room expecting you to love me. Just want to share what I have gained. I never want to hold what I've gotten inside me, I want to give it to everybody else. I can't do that if you're a stranger. Paul, you're going to be my new best friend. We're going to be (laughs) you're no longer a stranger or just the guy on the other end of the camera. We're now friends.

Paul Meunier 

Wow. And you know what? You say that but it is so true. There's something about you. I have to admit, when we get to know our guests for the first time and we learn and talk about each other, I immediately just felt like I really like you (laughs). I really think you're a cool person. You just got so many great things going on in your world. There's something so transparent or something so upfront about you. I don't even know how to put words to it. But I think what you just described is really true. And I think it's got to be other people who see that too. When you walk into the room and say you're going to be my friend you just don't know it. I think that probably happens to you a lot doesn't it?

Sherrita Allen 

It does. It does a whole lot more than it's supposed to because I used to get in trouble all the time, was like stop talking to strangers. I'm like but they look so nice. I would get into so much trouble because I was always talking to strangers. That was me.

Paul Meunier 

That's funny. Before when you were talking about your life motto, you had commented that you said, don't be a wounded healer. What do you do to avoid being a wounded healer in your youth work?

Sherrita Allen 

I learned the term wounded healer when I was in grad school getting my master's. It was something that stood out to me. You have these wounds that are still open and then you're trying to find your own healing through helping someone else. And instead of being someone who's healed, who's helping someone be healed also, you now have two wounded people. Any experience that someone may have could trigger some brokenness in you. If you're not able to be able to get through your own junk, there's no way you're going to be able to help someone else. Especially if you're with a client and they're in crisis, it's just a bad, bad, bad deal. I read. I've started recently reading alot probably for the past couple of years. I just picked up fantasy books. This probably going to be a little embarrassing. Probably the only thing that I say is embarrassing, but I love fantasy books. Right now I'm reading this series called Zodiac Academy. There was a lot of mythological creatures. So I'm reading about vampires and werewolves. I would probably want to be a werewolf. Honestly, I thought I used to want to be a vampire, but I want to be a werewolf because they see their mate. And then they're like, mate, and it's so and then they're like they talk about like just true love. It has fairies  and Pegasus and dragons. And I can just escape the world. For a little while. I know that there's a real world out there. But it's not trauma therapy. It's not hearing about somebody being consistently raped or having to turn tricks for money or just to get some food for the night. So I retreat into the world of Pegasus and dragons and werewolves because it's fun. And I like it (laughs).

Paul Meunier 

Well, that's a good thing to do. And fiction is a wonderful escape and drowning yourself in a book is a great way to spend some time and to unwind and to escape the sometimes harshness of the world we're living in, especially in these days lately. It is a wonderful opportunity. And as you were talking about that I was wondering about something I said at the beginning of our interview together. I don't know how you can keep working with young people that are sexually trafficked. I know somebody has to. I know for me, I'm a psychologist by trade and I worked directly with young people for many, many years. And that's one thing I couldn't hardly tolerate. There's something about it that just felt so just incredibly wrong and awful and demonic. I don't know what the words are, but I just couldn't deal with it. And I know it's got to be hard for you to hear some of these just awful situations that young people find themselves in. Is fantasy reading one way to not be that wounded healer and to escape from that, even if it's just temporarily?

Sherrita Allen 

It is. Because you're right, it's really hard to hear those things. I actually started my career doing residential work. And I worked with juvenile sex offenders, boys from 12 to 17, who had committed some kind of sex crime. Thought that that was what I was going to do, Deal with their sexual maladaptive behavior and that but then started looking at the victimization and wanting to help with that too. So getting into that world. Most of my books have a heroine so she is a woman who is overcome. I need to see that heroine even though she may be beat once she gets up, she has to self determination. So I see myself in a lot of them. Where even though you know things may be hard, I'm going to keep fighting because I deserve a life worth living. Want to, so escaping into that world, reminds me what's in me that I have a life worth living and everybody else should too. If somebody else isn't going to do it, I will because people burn out so easy in this field. So we got to find a way to heal and get through it. Because there's more people being hurt. Riding the back of a dragon for a chapter will help me remember that, to be free, then when I come out of my fantasy world, then I can remember that can teach someone else how to be free.

Paul Meunier 

I can't think of a better person for doing the work that you're doing, than you. These young people must have an incredibly tough time trusting anybody that's in the adult world after things that have happened to them. We were talking about how you're just that kind of person that walks in the room and everyone wants to be your friend, they're going to be your friend whether they want to or not. The only way to really connect with these young people, especially the ones that have been traumatized so terribly bad, is to have a trusting figure, and you just come across so smooth and genuine and sincere. I got to believe these young people gravitate towards you.

Sherrita Allen 

Not all (laughs). I was joking with my staff yesterday about a young lady who, when she was about 14 or 15 she and I did not like each other. And it was so hard to do therapy with her. But we fought through it. She's now 20 With her own child. We were riding somewhere together and she said Miss Sherrita, do you remember when you didn't like me? And I said, oh, yeah, I remember. And she was like, but you love me anyway, I was like, I know. I said, I guess you're hard to love but you're loved. I said know you're loved. She's like, I know, that's why I came back. And I was like, well, good, even though she knew I didn't hide it very well. My whole happy self that I'm showing you now. I struggled with her because I didn't like her. She was hard. Because she was mean she was entitled. We fought all the time. At the end of the day. I always asked her, you know, our hearts and mind clear? She was like no. And I was like, well, what you need?And we would just stop, whatever she needed and she was like, okay.They tell you don't tell your clients you love them. But I did. I loved her. She was like, I love you. And I was like I love you more. And we would give each other the side hug. And come in the next day hating each other again. But at the end of the day, I love you. I love you more. And we will keep going. Our agency, me, we're who she trusts. We showed her that love even when she wasn't lovable.

Paul Meunier 

Sherrita, you are such an important person in the lives of so many people and your upbringing, your faith, your people person personality that you just shine so brightly everywhere you go is such a great asset to our communities and our world in general. And I am so grateful you came on to be a guest on the podcast today because it truly has been a pleasure getting to know you. And I hope that the stories you shared inspire other people to dig deep into what drives them and find their passion for young people because you clearly have it. So thank you for being a guest on the show.

Sherrita Allen 

Thank you again for having me.

Paul Meunier 

Before we go, I would like to give you a chance to say what words of inspiration or wisdom would you like to share with our listeners?

Sherrita Allen 

Live life. Don't forget to live life. We have our jobs. We have so many responsibilities. Our work is daunting, it is burdensome, it's hard, it's thankless. In the midst of those things. Don't forget to live don't forget to find something to make you laugh. Don't forget to take a rest. Go to sleep. Take a nap. Drink chocolate milk, laugh, do something. But live life. Don't forget to live.

Paul Meunier 

if you would like to share your passion for youth work, we'd love to spotlight you as a guest. If you have feedback about the show, please let us know. Just visit training.yipa.org. That's training.yipa.org and click on the podcast tab. This podcast is made possible in part due to a generous contribution from M Health Fairview. I'm your host, Paul Meunier. Thanks for listening to The Passionate Youth Worker.